Oh, Sweet Nightmare
Phase V - Two's Company; the Rest is Rather Messy
by Akira Ichijouji

Disclaimer: Don't own it...

A/N: Heh heh heh... be prepared for some fun!!!!!


I sat on the couch, flipping through TV stations. But my heart was not in it.

I was two-timing, pure and simple. But this time, I was not at the end of one relationship. After the incident in the forest, I felt closer to Takeru. I cared about him, and our relationship reflected that. Oy vey.

I settled on the Home Shopping Network. Nothing too intellectual, that would need the majority of my brain to comprehend, just inconsequential images and voices. I let my mind slip into a well known state.

*You know what you ought to do,* said the Kaiser.

*No, actually I don't,* said Ken, nonchalantly eating a popsicle.

*You ought to... Hey, have you ever noticed what a sexy bitch you are?* The Kaiser grinned, borderline evilly.

*Ah, well... If I'm a sexy bitch, it must mean you are too... We are the same person, after all...* Ken said, getting a sexy look on his face.

*Why, yes, you're right. We do have a sexy little ass, for one thing...*

Ken nodded. *And stunning eyes the color of sapphires. Even if we are a little effeminate...* The popsicle started to drip on his hand.

*Who said anything about being effeminate???* the Kaiser snarled.

*Oh, you know, the longish hair, the slender figure...* He began licking the lemon-flavored syrup off his hand.

*I ought to kill you right now,* the Kaiser said, fingering his whip.

*Oh, but we make so many people hot! Both girls and guys...*

*Yeah, I suppose you're right.* The Kaiser studied his whip handle, then looked up with a devious smile on his face. *You make =me= hot...*

Ken was taken aback by that statement. *Umm, yeah, I suppose you do too.*

*Really? Shall we have a little fun?* The Kaiser set down the whip, placing his hands on his hips.

*Oh, maybe we shouldn't... but I'm game,* Ken said, smiling sexily, blowing on a loose piece of hair. He licked the popsicle, then slipped the whole thing in his mouth, pulling it back out slowly and sensually, eyes hooded.

The Kaiser was at a loss for words. He just stared at the display, a pink blush finding its way up his cheeks, getting more than a little aroused. *Let's go!* he yelled, tackling Ken and beginning to madly kiss him...

I sat up with a start. Where do these weird-ass fantasies *come* from???

I made my way over to a mirror, studying my reflection. I suppose I *did* look a little effeminate. But that is not a *bad* thing, necessarily... My eyes really are stunning. I smiled at my reflection.

"Sexy bitch," I whispered.

* * *

I met up with Hikari in the park again. Despite my initial impression, she was not as air-headish as I had originally thought. She actually was not a bad person to talk to.

"Hey, Ken-kun," she said as I sat down next to her on the park bench. This time she was reading "The Neverending Story". This girl sure has a varied reading list.

"Hey, Hikari-san," I said politely. She smiled, placing a bookmark in the book and once again setting it down beside her on the bench.

"What is it this time?" she said, a little touch of humor coloring her voice.

"Oh, I don't know..." I paused for a moment, then my voice took on a little of a panicked tone. "I can't get out of a relationship with Takeru! I've tried, but I just can't go suddenly cold-turkey!!! I'm addicted..." I covered my face with my hands.

Hikari patted me on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be able to make the right decision when the time comes."

"I wish I was so sure of that," I said almost despairingly, flopping my hands down on the bench. "I care for Takeru! I really do! I would kill anyone who hurt him... But it feels so right to be with Daisuke..."

Hikari moved a little closer, covering my hand with her own. "Like I said, I'm sure you'll be able to make the right decision when the time comes." In her voice, I could sense a little... desire?????

I internally began the initial stages of panic. I did not like where this was going.

Hikari twisted around a little, placing her hands on either side of me on the bench, her face inches from mine. There was something very captivating about her eyes. They were almost ruby-red. I do not think I have ever seen anyone with that color eyes up close. I felt like a deer in the headlights. I could not move.

Hikari smiled a little bit, touching her forehead to mine. "I'm sure you'll know, Ken-sama..." I gulped. She slowly let her lips brush mine. They were soft and foreign, like rose petals. She smelled delicately of strawberries.

Then my panic mechanism fully kicked in. I pushed her off me, leaping up and dodging around the bench.

"Just... what do you think you're doing???" I gasped, eyeing her warily.

"Having a little fun. Don't you ever think about having fun, Ken-sama?" She followed me around to the other side of the bench.

"Stay away. No! I don't want this!" I ran around the other side, trying to keep the large wooden bench between us. She grabbed me over the top of it, and I felt cold. She laughed, icy purple eyes flashing at me.

I woke up screaming.

* * *

I finally worked up the nerve to talk to Takeru about our relationship. Who would have known that the inspiration would come while in the Digiworld? We were having another picnic. No new enemy had shown themselves as of yet, so we were taking advantage of the quiet to enjoy the natural splendor of the Digital World. We had spread our blankets in the center courtyard of a beautiful ruin.

Large blocks of marble were scattered all over the place, and little tufts of grass poked up between the flagstones. The building itself was magnificent, several stories high. Most of the walls and ceilings were gone, but there were enough rooms still intact to insure getting lost in the labyrinth of hallways.

Miyako and I were locked in a debate about the use of Page Builder programs versus HTML.

"Why on earth would you just want to slap a few things on a page and call it a website? Code is the only way to go. A lot more of you gets put into the page that way. Plus, it is loads of fun...And, you can make sure that your pages show up just the way you want it in every type of browser," I said, confidant of my correctness in this particular subject.

"No one types in a word processor in code anymore! Technology has moved beyond that, and soon it will be webpages that are not done in code anymore." She stuck her tongue out at me. I crossed my arms with a mock look of insult. "And to use a Page Builder program, you don't have to learn a computer language, so more people can make webpages. So there."

Then I remembered. I was going to talk to Takeru. I looked around. Damn it! He must have gone on a walk or something.

"Oh, like we need any more people making lame-ass excuses for webpages," I said sarcastically. Miyako crossed her arms, glaring. "Well, excuse me for a moment, my dear -- I need to find Takeru." I mockingly bowed before I walked away.

"Hey, Patamon, have you seen Takeru anywhere?" Patamon was eating an ice-cream sandwich, the chocolate outside cookie part getting all over his paws.

"Yeah, he and Daisuke went exploring in the ruins."

"Thanks, Patamon, I really need to talk to him." I cursed inwardly. Why did Daisuke have to go exploring too? I needed to talk to Takeru alone. Maybe I could think of some way to temporarily get rid of Daisuke.

The inside of the ruined building was cold and dank, a great contrast to the dry heat of the courtyard. I made my way inside, warily looking around. I could get the creeps if I stayed in here for a long time.

I ran my hand along the left wall, making sure I would not lose my way among the maze-like corridors. I felt myself, yet again, slip into fantasy.

*Oh, you're good, Ken-chan.* The Kaiser stroked Ken's hair, rubbing a lock of it between his fingers.

*You weren't too shabby yourself,* Ken replied, running a finger down the Kaiser's chest. They both grinned, leaning in to kiss. The Kaiser pushed down, pinning Ken beneath him on the bed.

*Oh, boy, do you make me hot...* he whispered. Ken just smiled knowingly, arching his back. Their fingers entwining, they began kissing in earnest. The Kaiser let his mouth slip down from Ken's leaving a trail of kisses down his chest.

"Stop it! Just stop it, you two! You're making me horny!!!" I yelled to my other two selves.

*Who are you?* They said at the same time.

"I'm both of you, combined. Do you think you could do that somewhere else? Other than IN MY MIND???"

*Sorry,* Ken said sullenly, pulling down the shades.

Ahhh, privacy at last.

I am still very surprised at all the psychological tests I take that come back negative. I *must* have something wrong with me.

Just then, I came upon Daisuke and Takeru.

Making out on the floor.

My mouth fell open in shock. This was a development I had never seen coming. I leaned against the doorway.

"Mmmm, ohhh, Daisuke... yes!" Takeru moaned as Daisuke started sucking on his ear. After my initial shock had worn off, I was starting to enjoy this. I told you I was a voyeur.

I watched for a few minutes, neither boy noticing their silent audience. Then Daisuke started to unbutton Takeru's shirt. I thought I should make my presence known, before they started to do something they would really be embarrassed about in front of me.

"Ahem..." I cleared my throat, a look of amused irony on my face. I chuckled.

Takeru pushed Daisuke off of him with a look of panic on his face. "Oh, no, Ken, it's not what you think..."

"I'm sure. It's not like you aren't doing anything I haven't done... Same goes for you, Daisuke." I laughed again, grinning and putting my hands on my hips. "This is really very amusing!" I said, leaning on the doorframe once again.

"Ahh... how long have you been there?" Daisuke asked.

I looked at my watch. "Oh, about 4.7 minutes."

Daisuke and Takeru looked at each other. Takeru started to rebutton his shirt.

"Oh, you don't have to do that! I don't mind, really, at all!" I really did not. I cannot explain my complete lack of jealousy. Maybe then I felt completely justified fucking them both.

"Yeah, Takeru... you don't have to do that..." I could tell Daisuke was getting a naughty idea. He stood up, coming over to me, taking my hands, and kissing me. He led me over to Takeru. "This could be a lot of fun..." he said, grinning suggestively. I nodded, comprehending perfectly. I grinned almost evilly.

Takeru looked bemused for a moment, then put his arm around my waist. "Yeah, Ken, this could be quite a lot of fun..." I leaned down, kissing him on the lips. Daisuke began kissing my neck. We wilted down into one erotic pile.

I have never been so aroused in my life.

Did I ever really think that I could only have one lover?

* * *


* * *

A/N: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THREESOME!!!! What did this end up being? A, um, Daikenkeru? Hehe... Isn't that just seksy? Man oh man, did this story get out of hand! I originally meant it to just end it as a Daiken... Well, R&R, people! I really want to know what you thought of it!

Oh, and just a hint: the honorifics are all there for a reason. I planned it all out very carefully. ^_~

Wow, it's done! I've been working on this story for three days almost straight! (Spring break, you know!) Well, now I have homework to do. Damn. It was so much fun while it lasted... ^_^


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