Author's Notes:
_Blah_ emphasized words
"Blah" dialogue
BLAH really loud word
//blah// time reference
~~ scene change

BOOK I ACT I: SHATTERED

PART 1

"Moshi Moshi, Yagami residence, may I ask who is calling?" a slightly breathless voice greeted after the fifth ring.

"Hi Taichi, it’s Koushiro," a smooth tenor remarked.

"Hey dude, what’s up? I haven’t heard from you in _ages_!" Taichi said as he eyed the clock on the wall. He needed to go, it was nearly six and he was supposed to have been at the soccer field at five.

"Oh, I’ve been around… I was wondering if you wanted to come over, I got this prodigious new game called Xenogears, you have to play it," Koushiro said enthusiastically, covering up the slight desperate tone in his voice.

"Gee, Kou, I’d love to, really, but I have a game to go to. But I’ll make sure we get together some time, all right? I really have to leave right now, so take care. Ja!" Taichi replied in a rush, already out the door before Koushiro had the chance to say goodbye.

"Yeah, Taichi…you always say that we’ll get together later…" Koushiro whispered as he slowly replaced the receiver onto the base, "but we never do…"

How many times had Koushiro called to see if Taichi wanted to do anything with him… and how many times had Taichi said that he had something to do or somewhere to be? It was always the same – no one ever had time for Koushiro.

Yamato never seemed to find time in his busy schedule either. In fact, Koushiro couldn’t quite remember the last time he had seen Yamato. Yamato’s band had recently grown quite popular throughout Japan, and now they were touring in major cities around the island. Yamato no longer attended the same high school, rather having a private tutor keeping his education intact.

Of course, Yamato tried to stay in touch with everyone, calling group gatherings whenever he was in town and sending postcards and letters whenever he could. But still, it wasn’t the same.

Nothing ever stayed the same.

Sighing slightly as he closed his bedroom door behind him, Koushiro reflected over what had happened to their little group.

It had disseminated.

It wasn’t like they had all agreed on drifting apart, it was just something that happened. Slowly, one by one, they found different people to hang out with as they found new interests. They still said ‘hi’ to each other in the hallways, and occasionally did things together, but nothing really substantial.

They were all becoming more and more like acquaintances and less like friends with each passing day. They were becoming strangers to one another.

Or maybe it was just him.

Maybe it was only he who felt secluded, who felt isolated from society. He was always an introvert, able to communicate with computers better than with humans. Maybe it was because he was the only one who didn’t have other friends.

The only ones he had were either just entering middle school or sophomores in high school, except Jyou who was a junior, and that left him as the only a freshman. And to make matters worse, no one in the freshman class associated with him. No one his age talked to him or even knew he existed, save for the few times when he/she needed assistance with a computer problem. The only other person who was his age and in the same grade was Mimi, but she was in America.

In short, Koushiro was alone.

A few years ago he would have scoffed at the idea of him wanting, no needing human companions. Koushiro could just envision himself saying that all he needed was a good computer and he would be fine.

How wrong he was.

But that was then, and this was now.

Time spent with the other children made Koushiro realize how much he craved for human affection. How he needed the knowledge that people accepted him and liked him for who he was, not for what he could do.

And only when Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Jyou all went to high school, leaving him behind in middle school, did Koushiro realize how much he had come to rely on their presence.

They were his identity, his lifeline.

He only came to "life" when they were around. He was the blank canvas, and they were the colors that created the picture. Without them, he felt lost.

And Koushiro did not enjoy that feeling at all.

He did not like not knowing who he was. Did not like not knowing where he belonged.

For a long time he had been Koushiro Izumi, friend of Taichi Yagami, Sora Takenouchi, Yamato Ishida, Jyou Kido, Mimi Tachikawa, Hikari Yagami, Takeru Takaishi, etc.

But what was he now?

Former friend of those above?

He didn’t spend nearly as much time with the younger children anymore and the year that had passed between Koushiro and the older children had stretched their friendship with Koushiro.

In middle school, they still saw Koushiro on a daily basis, and even had several classes together. But when they went to high school, they rarely saw Koushiro at all. They were all busy with this and that activity and swamped with the unending projects that high school teachers seemed to enjoy handing out.

They barely had any time to sit down for dinner before having to rush off to a game or a study group, so why would they have time for Koushiro?

And now they were sophomores and even more involved with their studies and extracurricular activities than ever. And for some reason, upperclassmen usually did not associate with lowly freshman.

At first, Koushiro didn’t take note of the growing distance since he himself was busy with his own studies. But as time moved on, he began to feel that the other kids were ignoring him, finding him less interesting than their new friends.

Sora and he were never really the best of friends, but they shared the occasional meaningful conversation. Now their verbal communication consisted of a ‘hello’ or ‘nice to see you’ whenever they passed in the hallways. Koushiro used to attend some of Sora’s tennis matches, but she never seemed to notice he was there, so he decided that it was useless to come. Sora no longer needed him to cheer her on; she had her new friends and teammates to do that.

Jyou was a different story altogether. Before, Jyou and Koushiro had spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other becoming very good friends. But for some reason, out of the blue, Jyou stopped talking to Koushiro and tried to stay clear of Koushiro as well. It was as if he was uncomfortable to be around Koushiro.

At first, Koushiro came up with an excuse that Jyou was busy, that he needed to prepare for college and all the tests that one needed to take. But he knew that it was a thin lie. Jyou _was_ busy with school, but he wasn’t _that_ busy.

It was as if Jyou was uneasy around him, that Koushiro’s presence distressed him. Koushiro never knew exactly what drove Jyou away, but Koushiro surmised that it was the whole ‘upperclassmen are not to be seen with freshman’ rule.

Jyou had become quite popular with the ladies, and maybe he didn’t want to hurt his image. But Koushiro seriously doubted that. It was probably studies – well, that was what he would keep telling himself.

Or maybe Jyou just found Koushiro dull.

Koushiro had a knack of driving away people with his uninteresting persona.

And what made the situation worse was the little fact that Koushiro had what one would call a crush on the handsome blue-haired junior. Of course, he had never told this to Jyou – the only person in the entire world who knew was Taichi, and Koushiro made Taichi swear not to say a word to anyone.

Forcing back the dark thoughts that clouded his mind, Koushiro turned on his faithful laptop, a small deprecating smile gracing his features as he listened to the familiar clicking noises that his computer emitted.

"You’ll never leave me, ne?" he remarked wryly to the blank monitor, his voice unusually rough.

Silence was his only answer.

PART 2

~*~*~*~*~

Three months later…

An ominous streak of lightning pierced through the melancholy gray sky as Koushiro stepped off the city bus filled with petulant passengers. An acrimonious bellow of thunder rumbled about the city, leaving an ominous promise of the thunderstorm that was just beyond the horizon. Dark clouds, pregnant with heavenly tears, loomed above Koushiro, daring him to walk under them.

Belatedly recalling the weatherman warning about a thunderstorm coming through the city, Koushiro chided himself for not bringing his umbrella. Heaving a defeated sigh, Koushiro clutched his faithful little laptop to his chest and began his journey toward the hotel where Yamato was currently staying with his band while they were in town for Saturday’s concert.

A light sprinkle of cold rain began to fall from the gloomy sky, and Koushiro quickened his steps, while trying to navigate his way to the hotel. He had only been to this section of town a couple of times with his parents, so Koushiro wasn’t too terribly sure of where he was going.

Calling to mind the obscure directions that Taichi had given him, Koushiro looked around the busy streets in hopes of finding something familiar. Taichi had said, "Look for a big blue sign on the side of a really tall building, you can’t miss it."

There was a problem though…Taichi hadn’t noted the fact that there were a good many tall buildings with big blue signs on the side of them.

Shaking his head at his predicament, Koushiro decided to stop by the store that his parents had brought him to once to buy a birthday gift and ask for directions from the nice elderly woman who owned the place. Sliding his laptop under his sweater and hugging it close, Koushiro made his way to the brightly lit shop near the end of the street that he was on.

As Koushiro ducked under store canopies to stay out of the rain as much as possible, he wondered why in the world Taichi had told him to come and meet him and Yamato and a few friends at Yamato’s hotel room. It had been three months since Koushiro had last talked to any of his "friends," including Taichi.

It wasn’t like they had noticed his absence from their life.

Or missed him either.

So that was the reason why Koushiro was so surprised when his mother told him someone was on the phone for him. He had gotten quite used to no one calling for him, and he was also very used to not communicating with people. He had created his indifferent mask again, immersing himself into his computer and the internet to bide the time.

Idly, Koushiro wondered how the others were doing, what they were up to these days. He hadn’t paid attention for a long while. Sure, he heard snippets of conversation about this championship or how Yamato’s new song hit number one, but he really hadn’t felt that the trivial information was worth noting.

Koushiro no longer stayed in the computer room after school, rather going directly home where he would barricade himself in his room until the next morning to go to school. Sometimes he would even forget to come out on weekends and often times, his mother worried over his new habit of not eating anything for days on end.

Basically, Koushiro didn’t care anymore.

And the whole ordeal with that insolent internet persona was on his mind as well. He had to recreate his entire online account in order to escape from the stalker. At first, it was to have someone to talk to, but after the persona began suggesting they meet, Koushiro became wary.

He was lonely, but not stupid.

After politely informing the persona that he could not resume to associate with him, the persona had become extremely irate, bombarding Koushiro’s email with disparaging and profane remarks. The persona even threatened to kill Koushiro, writing extremely detailed and graphic methods of torture and death.

But that had been a week ago, and the persona knew nothing of his real name or where he lived, so he was safe. Or at least he hoped so.

Pushing the troubling thoughts aside, Koushiro continued on his trek to the little gift shop. He needed to get there quickly; the rain was beginning to come down in torrents.

Walking with new determination, Koushiro never saw the large hand that shot out toward him from the eerie darkness of an abandoned alley, jerking him into the obscure shadows. Something was forcefully held to his nose as he struggled against the strong arms that held him.

"Thought you could get away bitch, didn’t you?" a low, throaty voice whispered harshly into Koushiro’s ear.

Then everything went black…

And no one saw or heard the clatter of a pineapple laptop crash to the floor.

~~

PART 3

Taichi glanced at his watch for the nth time in the last five minutes and then briskly stood up from his seat and began to pace the room.

Again.

"Sit down. You’re making me dizzy," Yamato chided, ignoring the scathing glance that was sent his way. Taichi was going to wear a hole into the carpet if he kept on pacing like that. Taichi reminded Yamato of a lion prowling relentlessly across the wild savannah.

"Where is he?! It’s already eight-thirty! He should’ve been here at seven. It’s not like this place is hard to find, I even gave him directions!" Taichi exploded, something between anger and worry coloring his tone.

"Taichi’s right. It’s getting late and Kou-kun would have called us if he knew he was going to be late. Plus, the storm is really harsh outside. I’m worried, guys," Sora remarked quietly as she pulled back the satin curtain to gaze out the window, searching for a familiar flash of red hair among the crowds of people below.

"Maybe he didn’t want to come…" Jyou whispered as he ran a thumb over the smooth side of cheesy party hat that had been lying on the glass coffee table; something indiscernible shadowing his handsome features.

"What do you mean he didn’t want to come?! We’re his friends, Jyou! And he said he was coming…" Taichi yelled, but then caught the look on his blue-haired friend’s face, and understood what Jyou had meant. Everyone eyes flickered away from the other occupants in the room as an uneasy silence filled the cheerfully decorated room.

Koushiro really didn’t have a reason to come… considering how they treated him...

"Look, since we obviously aren’t getting anything done, I’ll go and call Mrs. Izumi and see if she’s heard from Koushiro. I bet you my guitar that Koushiro’s caught in traffic right now. You know how bad traffic is around this time, especially with all that rain. He’s probably stuck on some dingy bus trying to find a signal so that he can email us. Besides, this place _is_ on the other side of town, you know," Yamato said after a few minutes, attempting to calm everyone’s nerves, especially his own. Although he didn’t want to admit it outright, he was worried about their redheaded friend. Pushing himself from the couch, Yamato made his way to the adjoining kitchen to make the phone call.

Another reign of silence smothered the room, the only audible sound was were the muffled words of Yamato as he talked to Mrs. Izumi in the other room. Everyone was lost in their own world, wondering where in the world their friend could be.

A sudden shrill beep cut through the stillness, startling the three teenagers. After the initial shock, Sora realized that it was her cell phone. Blushing slightly out of embarrassment, Sora quickly answered it.

"Hello?" Sora greeted as she walked back to her perch at the window.

Taichi and Jyou shared a meaningful glance and then turned their eyes on Sora, wondering who it was.

"Mimi-chan!... What? Oh… No… Not yet… Of course … Okay, talk to you in a little bit, ja," Sora said, completely oblivious of the two boys staring at her. Pressing the ‘END’ button on her cell phone, Sora placed it back into her bag.

"I take it Mimi wanted to talk to Koushiro and wanted us to call her right when he comes," Taichi remarked as he wore a hole into the carpet on the floor. So used to listening to the phone conversations between Mimi and Sora, Taichi was able to catch the basic gist of their dialogue.

"Yeah," Sora started, but stopped short as Yamato walked into the room, an obviously disturbed look clouding his ice blue eyes.

Waiting patiently for Yamato to tell them what Mrs. Izumi said, the other three sat quietly, not liking that look with each passing second.

"Mrs. Izumi said that Koushiro left at five o’clock and hasn’t heard from him since," Yamato said simply, not really looking at the others.

The surprise birthday party they had planned for Koushiro was suddenly forgotten…
 
 

~~

PART 4

Pain.

That was the first coherent thought that formed in Koushiro’s mind as he returned to consciousness.

Intense pain.

A scream worked its way from his dry throat, but only escaped as a hoarse whimper from cracked and bleeding lips. Belatedly, Koushiro realized he had screamed his throat bloody and that he had been screaming for hours.

Koushiro’s mind offered short memories of pain and someone’s laughter that were collected as Koushiro had swam in out of consciousness.

Opening heavy eyelids, Koushiro saw a blur of bright crimson light shining directly on his face. Immediately regretting opening his eyes in the first place, Koushiro quickly shut them, the glaring light still visible through the closed lids. The burning sensation lasted for a few agonizing moments before the pain that encased his body caught his attention again.

A low moan of anguish filled the air as Koushiro attempted to ignore the astounding pain and take in his surroundings.

He was on a bed.

Tied to a bed…

"I see that my little beauty is awake," a smooth sinister voice cut through Koushiro’s mind.

Panic and recognition flared through Koushiro’s brain as he thrashed against his restraints.

No one ever called Koushiro "my little beauty," except for…

The internet persona.

Koushiro needed to get away.

Now.

"Ah ah, don’t do that," the silky voice reprimanded, a dark amusement coloring the rebuke.

Koushiro struggled to say something, anything.

"Shh… don’t say anything. You’re mine now. No one can help you. No one knows where you are and no one cares. All mine to do with as I please…" the voice remarked forebodingly as a rough, callused hand caressed Koushiro’s cheek.

Koushiro shuddered and shied away from the touch, knowing all too well what sordid implications that the man before him meant.

Koushiro’s mind reeled… this could not be happening… he would wake up soon and find himself in his room in his own bed…

But something deep down within him knew this was real.

All too real.

Tears fell from behind tightly shut eyelids as Koushiro wished for anyone to come and rescue him, for anyone to take him away from this horror.

"So pretty…" warm, rancid breath remarked close to Koushiro’s ear and Koushiro bit back a sob disgustingly wet lips covered his own and a slimy tongue invaded his mouth.

No…

NO…

A large, heavy body fell on top of Koushiro, pressing him into the mattress. Thick fingers ripped blindly at Koushiro’s clothes, soon leaving Koushiro naked under the man. Koushiro thrashed to get away, but the cords around his wrists and ankles held him snuggly in place.

Tears of humiliation streaked down flushed cheeks only to be lapped away by a repulsive tongue. Koushiro trembled as hands stroked his skin, leaving no place untouched. He tried to cry out, but another kiss stole his voice away.

Koushiro heard the distinct sound of a zipper being undone and he arched against the body above him, trying to push off his captor. A strong blow from a meaty hand fell across Koushiro face, causing Koushiro’s head to snap violently to the right.

"See what you made me do…" a rough voice drunk lust reprimanded as its owner divested his body of the constricting clothing.

A groan escaped the man’s lips as his erection was released from its confines. He stroked it for a few minutes and then lay back down on top of Koushiro, firmly pressing his swollen manhood against Koushiro’s thigh. Another hungry moan reached the air as he rubbed himself against Koushiro’s satin skin. He loved the friction.

Forcefully wrenching Koushiro’s legs apart, the man settled between them, and with a fluidity that belied his build, snapped his hips forward and rammed into Koushiro. His eyes rolled back into his head as the tight heat encompassed him – it was too delicious!

"Mine," he growled as he continued to pummel the taut, virginal boy, relishing in every scream and cry that came from those coral lips.

Koushiro screamed that night like he had never screamed before, his body beaten, broken, and defiled in so many ways that he thought he would surely die.

But he didn’t.

And as time passed in the nights to come, he wished he had.

~~

PART 5

"Dammit!" Taichi yelled as he jerked his coat on and stalked toward the door. He had finally gotten fed up with staring at the silver clock hanging the wall that was signifying that it was currently 10:00 p.m.

"Where do you think you’re going?" Yamato called to Taichi, quickly vacating his seat and grabbing Taichi’s arm.

"I’m going to go out there and find Koushiro. And then I’m going to drag his ass up here," Taichi replied hotly as he yanked his arm from Yamato’s grasp, daring Yamato to try and stop him.

"What is up with you Taichi? You’re acting like a jerk. Maybe Jyou was right; maybe Kou didn’t want to come... Besides, Jyou and Sora left and hour ago to go look for Koushiro. We don’t need everyone out there in the streets. We need to stay here in case someone calls or something," Yamato snapped, angry at Taichi’s impudent behavior. He grabbed Taichi’s arm again and refused to let go.

"Let. Go. Of. Me," Taichi demanded darkly, fire burning in his coffee eyes.

"Like hell I won’t," Yamato tossed back, tightening his grasp.

"I’m warning you Ishida…" Taichi spat out, the worry and anger boiling inside of him no longer discernible.

"What you gonna do Taichi? You gonna hit me? You gonna hurt me like you did Kou, except that you’ll deal the blows this time? Huh?" Yamato yelled, unable to keep back his stinging words before he could stop them.

And instantly regretted it.

Taichi went deathly silent as all the color drained from his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out from the slackened lips. And all in a matter of seconds, the anger washed away from Taichi’s tense body and his face crumpled.

It was known that Taichi had merely stood by as several of his teammates publicly jeered and ridiculed Koushiro, pushing the short redhead around, leaving the computer genius with a busted lip. Taichi hadn’t even raised a voice of protest, rather slinking away from the scene, unsure of what to do.

He could still remember the betrayal that burned in those obsidian orbs as Koushiro watched him leave. Watched as his best friend abandoned him like an old rag doll.

Taichi tried to put it behind him, even attempted to fool himself that it was someone else that he didn’t know.

But of course, deep down inside, he knew.

He knew he was wrong…

And he was so terribly sorry.

"I’m sorry…" Taichi whispered to no one in particular, a blank look glazing over his eyes as he slowly sunk to his knees.

"So sorry…"

~~

PART 6

"This is hopeless, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack – we’re never going to find him this way," Jyou said with a sigh of defeat as he and Sora walked for the fifth time down Okasaka Street. He readjusted his grip on the large, cobalt-colored umbrella shielding them from the light drizzle that followed the downpour.

"We can’t give up hope yet, Jyou… we have to keep on looking until we know for sure. He might have went into one of the hotels or stores during the worst of the storm and is still trying to find his way to the hotel," Sora stated somewhat assuredly, her excuse sounding thin even to herself. Glancing about the brightly lit stores and stands, Sora hoped that she would spot a short youth wandering around lost. Or better yet, making his way towards Jyou and herself.

Stealing a momentary look at the tall boy walking beside her, Sora frowned slightly due to Jyou’s sudden reticence. Something had obviously been bothering Jyou for the longest time, but no one was able to wheedle Jyou about what it was. He either changed the subject or outright refused to answer the question.

Somehow, Sora felt that whatever was bothering Jyou was tearing him apart inside, and that he needed to get it out in the open before something drastic occurred. Thinking that this was as good a time as any, Sora proceeded to draw Jyou out of his troubling thoughts.

"What’s wrong Jyou? You’ve been so distant lately and I can tell that something is bothering you, and I know it’s not school. You can tell me," Sora began softly, not wanting to come across sounding reproachful. That was the last thing that Jyou needed.

After a few lengthy minutes of complete silence, Sora came to the conclusion that Jyou wasn’t going to say anything out of his own accord. Perhaps she needed to do a little bit more prodding.

But as she opened her mouth to say something, Jyou said something so quietly that Sora nearly didn’t catch it.

"It’s Koushiro," Jyou repeated a bit more loudly this time as if it explained everything. His clouded ebony eyes never strayed to look to see Sora’s reaction. It was as if he was afraid of meeting Sora’s eyes – afraid of what he would see in them.

"What?" Sora blurted out intelligently, visibly confused by Jyou’s statement. She hadn’t expected Koushiro to be at the root of Jyou’s problems.

"I think that I… that I…" Jyou trailed off, the brief surge of courage dissolving before he could finish his sentence. He already felt that he had said too much.

"That you what Jyou?" Sora encouraged, stopping and placing a hand on Jyou’s shoulder, to both reassure her friend as well as to prevent him from walking any further.

Halting his steps, Jyou glanced at the gloved hand on his upper arm and sighed, a feeling of dismay settling in the pit of his stomach. He supposed that he would have had to tell someone sooner or later, and that Sora seemed to be the best confide in.

"You see… I think that I have… feelings for Koushiro…." Jyou said slowly, waiting for the look of disgust to make itself apparent on Sora’s face. But nothing of the kind happened, instead the exact opposite happened.

"Really? That’s wonderful, Jyou! Have you told Koushiro yet?" Sora exclaimed happily, a grin playing on her lips. But soon it melted away as a pained expression flickered across Jyou’s features.

"How could I, Sora? Koushiro would probably recoil in revulsion at the idea of me feeling that way about him… that’s why I stopped spending time with him… that’s why I abandoned him…" Jyou answered Sora, sorrow coloring his words.

"I couldn’t be around him without wanting to press my mouth against those soft lips or wanting to hold him and never let go. Don’t you see how selfish I am, Sora? Instead of confronting my problem and confessing to Koushiro, I turned and ran, afraid of rejection. I left Koushiro without ever giving him a reason, and to this day he still probably thinks that it was his fault… I just couldn’t bear the idea of him not wanting to ever see me again…I’m such a bastard. He must hate me now for deserting him like that… and I deserve every bit of it," Jyou continued, guilt more than anything fueling his sudden loquaciousness.

"Oh Jyou…" Sora uttered sympathetically, stepping to Jyou to enfold him in hug.

"Koushiro could never hate anyone, Jyou… especially you. I promised Taichi I wouldn’t ever tell you… but Koushiro had feelings for you too, and still does," Sora imparted sadly, the abrupt stiffening of Jyou’s body making her feel for her friend all the more.

"What?" Jyou breathed, his tone incredulous. He looked down at Sora to see if what he had just heard was indeed true.

"He’s had a crush on you for the longest time, Jyou… it would make him so happy if you told him how you felt," Sora suggested, carefully watching the emotions flash about Jyou’s visage.

What she didn’t expect was Jyou’s face to fall and despair to fill his voice.

"That makes everything a hundred times worse… the time that we… we could’ve been together was wasted… I ruined everything… I just know he hates me now… he’ll never want to even see my face again… besides… he doesn’t need me in his life anyway, I’ll only be a burden. And now Koushiro is probably avoiding us because of me, and –" Jyou stopped short of his grievances when a hand had slapped him soundly across the face.

"Listen to me Jyou Kido, and listen closely: Koushiro Izumi does _not_ hate you and never will! Stop your incessant brooding and smell the roses. You like Koushiro and Koushiro likes you – see the pattern here? When we find Koushiro, you are going to tell him how you feel. End of story. And if Koushiro has anyone to hate, it’d be _me_," Sora yelled hotly, shaking slightly from the emotions boiling in her.

"You?" Jyou asked cleverly as Sora’s words slowly began to sink in. He looked down and saw that Sora’s chocolate eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Yes! I ignored him all the time, even when he was in my class or passing in the hallways! I forgot about Koushiro… I was so caught up in tennis and the new friends I made that I never noticed Koushiro at the games until I saw him leave one day. I tried to call him down, but he didn’t hear me. I never saw him in the crowd again. One of the girls on the team even went so far as to say that she was glad that he had stopped coming for no reason at all except that he never talked to anyone! And did you know what I did?! Nothing! That’s what I did. I never went to find Koushiro, never sought him out to see how he was doing! I didn’t have a reason to either to treat him so rudely! I just did. So don’t stand there and tell me that he hates you. Like I said, if he hates anyone, it would be me," Sora choked out, unable to keep the tears from streaking down her flushed cheeks. Jyou’s previous moping had triggered the guilt that she had been suppressing, and she just couldn’t keep it inside anymore.

Stunned even more so by Sora’s speech than the slap she had given him, Jyou remained speechless. Then he quickly wrapped an arm around Sora, embracing her for the second time this night, and tried to soothe the hysterical girl.

"I think that we all are at fault here… and I just hope that Koushiro can find it in his heart to forgive us," Jyou murmured as he continued to hold Sora.

~~

PART 7

Yamato watched in shock as Taichi fell to his knees, his hand still gripped tightly around Taichi’s arm. He kicked himself for even uttering those abusive remarks – how could he have been so insensitive? Who was the jerk now?

Sinking down to the carpet in front of Taichi, Yamato tried to get Taichi to focus on him for a moment. Dark, amber eyes only saw past Yamato, glazed over with guilt. Taichi was lost in his whole bubble of grief, and Yamato was responsible for it.

"Taichi – dude, don’t do this to me. Come on, snap out of it! Taichi!" Yamato cried as he shook Taichi’s shoulders, trying not to jar his friend too much.

"It’s all my fault… he hates me… I… I left him to save my own ass… I’m such a damn coward… no wonder he didn’t come… he must hate my guts, hell, I hate my own guts," Taichi voiced distantly, his eyes still lost in that blank look.

"Dammit Taichi!" Yamato yelled in frustration among other things and punched Taichi across the jaw.

Pain flared into Taichi’s mind as his jaw and Yamato’s fist connected, efficiently jerking him out of his stupor. Snapping a glare at Yamato and preparing to return the "favor" to Yamato, Taichi stopped short when he saw Yamato’s completely slack form with the blond head hanging down in shame.

Yamato was waiting for him to hit him.

This scene was too familiar…

Feeling his throat clench painfully, Taichi licked dry lips and dropped his arm back to his side.

What was happening to him?

"Aren’t you going to hit me back?" Yamato asked quietly, no trace of acrimony in his voice; his head was still directed to the floor.

Instead of replying, Taichi reached out and with his hand and lifted Yamato’s chin until Yamato was looking at him eye to eye. Taichi hadn’t anticipated the silent tears that burned down Yamato’s thin cheeks.

"Yamato…" Taichi breathed, not liking the expression of anguish on his friend’s face.

Closing his eyes and looking away from Taichi, Yamato wrapped his long arms around himself, trying to keep the pent up worry and hurt inside. But finally he broke.

"Coward?! You, Taichi Yagami – a coward? That’s funny. If anyone’s a coward here, it would be me. I’m the one who abandoned _all_ my friends for some fucking music career. I was too good for all of you… I left you guys behind. I was so high on the rush of being famous – do you know what does it does to you, Taichi? The fame? Oh… of course you do… you’re the MVP of your soccer team, right? I wouldn’t know, would I… I’m too busy with my group. I was so high on having all these fans adore _me_ that I forgot those who were most important to me… those who cared…I let all of you down… Maybe if I hadn’t gone away… maybe if I hadn’t left… we’d all be okay now… and… and Kou would be here with us instead out in that forsaken world… and, dammit… it’s all my fault… I stopped writing… I… I…" Yamato couldn’t go on, the hate directed at himself stealing his ability to speak.

So much for the having the crest of friendship… he had deserted his friends for something less substantial and unfulfilling.

"What the hell is the matter with you Yamato?" Taichi yelled as he really did hit Yamato this time, a bruise already starting to show on Yamato’s red cheek.

"You didn’t abandon us you idiot! We’re happy for you – every single one of us, and we never even thought of you as leaving us behind. Hell, Yamato, you even went out of your way to call us every other day to see how everything was doing. So don’t you start babbling about how you betrayed us – you didn’t. And don’t be so arrogant as to think that you were the cause of our losing Koushiro! It wasn’t your damn fault … it was… it was… all of ours – oh my god, Yamato… what have we done?" Taichi exclaimed fiercely, but cooled down when he realized that not only had Koushiro been let down by him, but by everyone as well…

"What have we done?" Taichi repeated in a small voice as he looked into Yamato’s ice blue eyes, his face a mixture of shame and deprecation. Why were they being so capricious? How did they lose control so quickly? How did it all come to this – two sixteen year old boys kneeling on the floor, exchanging sorrows?

How did they allow this all to happen?

"I don’t know Taichi… I don’t know," Yamato answered softly, as both boys lost themselves in their own thoughts.

‘United we stand… divided we fall…’

~~

PART 8

Light mists of rain fell softly on the umbrella that shielded the two standing under the soft glow of a streetlamp who were holding each other in guilt and regret. Tears already long dried, the two just merely stood there, drawing strength from one another.

Finally pulling away running a hand across her face, Sora gave Jyou a shaky, but reassuring smile. He returned with a small smile of his own – it felt nice getting that all out.

"I don’t think Taichi and Yamato would be too happy if found out we were standing in the middle of the sidewalk confessing our woes to each other instead of searching for Koushiro," Sora remarked lightheartedly, trying to lift their spirits.

"You’re right, come on, let’s go back. We’ve scoured these streets from head to toe, maybe Koushiro’s already arrived, and waiting for us," Jyou said in return to Sora’s joke with a small upturning of his lips.

Nodding in agreement, Sora hooked her arm around Jyou’s, and the two started off again, their hearts just a little bit lighter. But the cloud of worry still hovered nearby, breathing down their necks.

They walked in amiable silence, each collecting their thoughts while still keeping an eye for any signs of their estranged friend.

Jyou suddenly stopped and turned to take another look at something that had flashed in the darkness of an alley that they had just passed. Something in the back of his mind itched as he headed for the mouth of the alley.

"What is it Jyou? Do you see something?" Sora asked from beside him, trying to figure out what had caught Jyou’s eye.

"I’m not sure… Did you see anything as you passed this alley?" Jyou queried as he hesitated from entering the poorly lit alleyway. Who knew what was hidden within the shadows?

"No…" Sora replied slowly, looking into the gloom.

"I thought I saw something…" Jyou mumbled as he stepped into the alley, something making him unable to dismiss that flicker he had seen before.

Confused, Sora followed Jyou into the darkness only to run into something that skidded a few inches away from the foot that had came into contact with it. Frowning, Sora bent over and searched for the object – it had been too heavy to be an ordinary piece of trash.

"Did you find something, Sora?" Jyou asked, as he came up beside Sora as her hands finally found the thing she had kicked.

It was slightly wet from the rain, but Sora could feel the cool metallic surface of the rectangular object. Something was familiar about the thing she held in her hands. Then a finger ran over an indention that she knew all too well.

A gasp escaped from Sora’s suddenly dry mouth as she tried to deny what she held in her hands. Ignoring Jyou’s worried questions, Sora ran out of the alley to the nearest streetlamp to confirm her what she didn’t want to believe.

Sora didn’t hear the sharp intake of air that came from Jyou as he came behind her at the streetlamp; she was too busy trying to keep from dropping the thing in her hands.

A pineapple laptop with the words ‘Koushiro Izumi’ on the cover.

~~

PART 9

Eight months later

"Hello?" A haggard voice greeted, anticipation coloring the otherwise flat tone.

"Mr. Taichi Yagami? This is Officer Unsati," a sharp female voice returned. Something akin to hope flickered in the tired coffee orbs as they registered who had called.

"Yes?" Taichi asked with an unhealthy eagerness.

"We’ve found him," Officer Unsati stated simply without pretense; there was no need to keep the boy waiting.

Tears spilled from bright brown eyes as the words sunk in.

They found him…

The found him…

They finally found him!

After eight months from that fateful day when Jyou and Sora and crashed into the room with Koushiro’s battered laptop, they finally found Koushiro. Eight months of posting ‘missing child’ posters. Eight months of tracking down leads. Eight months of insomnia. Eight months of despairing over Koushiro’s disappearance…

Eight months of hell.

And eight months too long.

"Mr. Yagami, are you there?" Officer Unsati asked, slightly worried about the silence that had followed her news.

"Yes… yes, I’m here. Is he… is he…" Taichi choked out, not able to finish his question – too afraid of the answer.

"We aren’t sure, Mr. Yagami, but we’ve found where he’s being held. We haven’t taken action as of yet to retrieve Mr. Izumi. You had requested that we were to inform you whenever we caught news of Mr. Izumi’s location," Officer Unsati answered Taichi’s unfinished question, her chest hurting when she had heard the grief in Taichi’s voice.

She had gotten to know Mr. Yagami and his friends over the time of four months, and she had to admit that her heart broke every time saw them come into her office. Everyday, right after they were let out of school, they came by to see if anything new had come up – they were quite devoted to their missing friend. And to see such sorrow reflected in those faces was sometimes too much to bear.

And she didn’t even want to think of the parents of Koushiro Izumi. The horrified look that fled into their eyes when she had showed up at their front door and told them that their son was missing was just too much. The way that Mrs. Izumi suddenly crumpled against her shocked husband was just heart wrenching. And it had only gotten worse as time went by.

Shaking her curly head of those thoughts, Officer Unsati returned to the present. They had finally located the missing child, and now they were going to bring him back to his friends and family. Alive or dead.

They didn’t know the condition of the boy, but Officer Unsati feared the worst – too much time had passed since the initial kidnapping. It would be a miracle if the boy was still alive.

It had taken so long to find the emails that Koushiro had received from one "DemonMaster" and even longer to trace where they had been sent. This "DemonMaster" was suspected to have been involved in 12 child abductions, and all the victims had been found dead on site.

"Officer, when are you going to get Koushiro?" Taichi asked tentatively.

"Tomorrow morning at about five a.m."

"I want to come, and I suspect the others want to come as well," Taichi stated firmly.

"Mr. Yagami, you can’t come! This is –" Officer Unsati started.

"We’re coming. Period. We’ll meet you at the office tomorrow at 4 a.m.," Taichi said resolutely as he hung up the phone before he slumped against the wall. He wasn’t going to stand back and let others do the work. He owed Koushiro that much.

Pulling out a worn picture of the missing redhead from his wallet, Taichi gazed at the smiling face, a tear falling to splash against the photograph.

"We’re coming Kou, we’re coming."

~~~

PART 10

Distant sounds of yelling and splintering wood barely registered in Koushiro’s hazy mind as he ignored the lustful grunts coming from the man above him. Neither did he acknowledge the way his body bled or his muscles screamed as his captor took pleasure from ramming over and over again into his broken body.

Koushiro no longer struggled, no longer fought… no longer responded to anything.

Of course there were the occasional sessions of torture where he would scream until he coughed up blood, but those were few and far in between. His main reason for existence in this hellhole was to be a fuck-buddy for the demented man who held him prisoner.

Oh, and to lay there while his captor took numerous pictures for goodness knows what after whipping and slashing Koushiro’s pale skin. His "master" had said that the crimson contrasted so nicely with Koushiro’s complexion.

Yeah, right.

But Koushiro didn’t care anymore. He had withdrawn into a little niche in his mind where no one could touch him ever again. Although his body was still alive, Koushiro was no longer there.

He was just a shell.

And inside he was dead.

He didn’t even pray for someone to come and rescue him anymore. He knew no one would come.

No one cared.

Well, maybe his parents…he just felt bad for them, they probably were stricken with grief over his kidnapping. But they would get over it with time. They would forget him.

Everyone else had.

Not even blinking as he vaguely felt himself being filled or flinching when a heavy, sweat-slicked form fell on top of him, Koushiro never heard the voices that called his name. He didn’t even really hear the curse that his "master" shouted as he got off of Koushiro and scrambled to get his clothes on.

"Looks like someone has found us, my sweet. I must go, although I did enjoy our time together. I’m really sorry it had to end this way, good-bye my little beauty," the bulky man said, his tone signifying that he wasn’t sorry at all.

Koushiro heard the ominous click of a gun, and then welcomed the darkness that followed…

~~

PART 11

The thunderous boom of a gun being fired reached the ears of those who were at the top of the basement stairs, causing everyone to stop still. Four pair of eyes darted to gaze at each other before four took off toward where the sound had come from before any of the officers could stop them.

Calling after the four to stop and finding that it was useless, the officers quickly followed suit, guns drawn and ready for use.

A bloodcurdling shriek filled the air, and Officer Unsati feared the worst, but what she saw when she rounded the corner was one hundred times worse than what anything she had imagined.

"Oh my god…"

~~

PART 12

The moldy, gray walls of the dim, dank room were completely covered with large and small color and black and white photos alike – the focus of all the photos: a redheaded boy. A redheaded boy subjected to brutal and violent desecrations that would make any sane human sick to his/her very stomach. Such horrifying violations that chilled one to the very marrow of one’s bones were proudly displayed all over the walls.

The entire room reeked of sweat, stale semen, and most prominently, the iron scent of blood. There were dark stains everywhere, some faded and some obviously fresh.

Unidentified tools and objects, covered in scarlet and other substances, littered the floor, making the room look like a demented pedophile’s playground – and it probably was.

But the most appalling and heartbreaking thing in the room was the motionless, naked form crumpled among the soiled sheets.

Koushiro.

Thin arms, decorated with numerous slashes were bound roughly to the rusted posts of the head of the makeshift bed as long, pale legs were tied painfully to the opposite posts at the foot of the bed, embellished with large angry bruises.

Grimy red locks fell haphazardly about a gaunt, pallid face that seemed to be forever marked in indescribable pain. And the empty, dilated ebony eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above them, the life in them long removed.

And nowhere to be seen was the offender, the evil sadistic man who had done this to an innocent boy.

The only thing left of him was the still fresh semen inside Koushiro…

~~

PART 13

For a few long seconds, no one moved, no one breathed, and no one said a word as they took in the appalling scene set before them. It was just too horrible to be true…

The memory of the gun shot echoing in his mind brought Taichi out of stupor and he ran to Koushiro’s side. After seeing their friend run by, Yamato, Jyou, and Sora stopped gazing at the ghastly sight of the room, and made their way to Taichi’s side.

"Kou…" Taichi strangled from his constricted throat, tears burning his vision and making their way down his cheeks as he stared at his friend. This couldn’t be real… this couldn’t be real…

"No…" Yamato whispered as his cerulean eyes fell upon the angry wound in the middle of Koushiro’s chest, crimson ribbons spilling forth to stream across a pale chest.

"Oh my god, oh my god…" Sora choked out, as she trembled from the sight. How could anyone be so cruel?

Jyou was too stunned for words, only able to fall to his knees beside the bed, despair and grief overwhelming him.

"KOUSHIRO!" Jyou yelled, a sob escaping from his throat as he took a limp hand into his own, trying to will the boy to respond.

"Is he… is he…" Taichi made out between his ragged breaths, violently wiping away the offending wetness at his cheeks. He couldn’t quite ask the question that they all feared they knew the answer to.

"A doctor… we need a doctor! Someone get a doctor!" Yamato called suddenly, eyes never leaving the inert form, bringing his arms around his waist as he shook from the emotions welling in him.

"We have to get him loose… oh my god… just look at him! Oh my god!" Sora cried out at as she attempted to undo the bindings with trembling fingers. "Help me!"

"He has to… he has to be alive… I mean…this is a joke isn’t it? Look… his eyes are… open…I… I… Oh my god! Koushiro!… I’m so sorry… so sorry!" Taichi finally broke, falling to his knees beside Jyou who had gone quite still except for the shuddering that racked his lean form.

"What are you guys doing?!… He’s… he’s bleeding… we need… to get him free… help me! Oh god…" Sora shouted before she herself doubled over and deposited her stomach of its contents.

"Where’s the doctor… we need a doctor… WHERE’S THE DOCTOR?!" Yamato yelled in frenzy, the only one still standing. He was shaking terribly. "Oh my god…"

Gentle, but firm hands led the four away from the bed as paramedics quickly undid the fetters and placed Koushiro’s battered form onto a stretcher, already putting an oxygen mask on the boy, forcing air into the unresponsive body.

The four teenagers barely registered the wail of the ambulance siren as their friend was rushed off to the local hospital, or the officers that guided them to the back of a car headed toward the infirmary.

All their minds repeating the same litany over and over…

‘Too late… we were too late.’

~~

PART 14

White.

Everywhere he looked, he saw white.

White walls, white floors, white uniforms, white…

Everything.

White wasn’t the color of life – it was the color of death.

The stale air reeked of the sickening strong antiseptics that attempted to cover the stench of suffering.

People – some dying, some crying – littered the blazing bright corridors.

Hospitals weren’t places where people came to get better – it was where people came to die on unnaturally clean sheets and foreign beds.

And the cheap, plastic chairs in the waiting room weren’t much comfort either, with their hard, stiff feel and dirty orange color. What was the point of trying to sit down when you knew that you wouldn’t find any answers or reassurance?

From his place along the wall, Yamato stared at the other three figures clustered about the room. It wasn’t like there was much of anything else to do.

Besides wait.

And he hated waiting.

Allowing his eyes to focus on Taichi’s ever-moving form, Yamato tracked Taichi’s trek from one end of the room to the other, noticing how Taichi’s darkened eyes stole a glance at the broad double doors of the emergency room with every few steps.

Shifting slightly to lean more weight on his right leg, Yamato turned his gaze onto Jyou who was slumped in one of the ugly orange seats. One hand held his glasses with an unusual carelessness, as the other covered his face that never looked up, rather choosing to look at only the floor. Blue hair spilled forward, curtaining Jyou from the rest of the world.

Bringing his eyes to Sora, Yamato watched as Sora ended an emotional conversation with Mimi, relaying what had happened in the past few hours. With trembling fingers, Sora replaced her phone into her satchel, and then wrapped her arms around her waist. Rocking back and forth, Sora drew upon some reserve of strength as images of Koushiro’s decimated body flashed about her mind’s eye.

Yamato looked up as he heard a set of hurried steps heading in their direction. Mrs. Izumi, hair hastily pulled back in a loose ponytail and hands clenched tightly to her brown purse, walked toward them as fast as her feet could take her. Yamato took note of how her face had thinned since Koushiro’s disappearance and the tiny, pronounced wrinkles around her eyes and somber mouth that never seemed to fade.

As she stepped into the brightly lit room, Taichi intercepted her and drew her into a great hug. The others seemed to notice Mrs. Izumi arrival as well and stood up to greet her. Mr. Izumi was out of town on business, but Yamato had heard from Taichi that Mr. Izumi was cutting the trip short and catching the next flight home. Yamato pushed away from his stoop on the cold wall and made his way to the small congregation.

"Is he – How – Where –" Mrs. Izumi choked out, not quite able to finish the thousands of questions that raced through her mind. Was Koushiro really here – finally found? Was he alive or dead? So many questions…

But before any of the teenagers could reply, a man with mussed brown hair streaked with gray, came out of the emergency room and glanced at them. He looked very tired, his eyes bloodshot and his skin pallid. Smoothing his hair back with one hand, the doctor draped in the same, terrible white as everything else, made his way toward them.

PART 15

They watched him in silence, their gaze so intense it almost seemed predatory. They studied the auburn-haired doctor, scrutinizing every move, trying to find anything in the look of his eyes or the way he walked that would reveal the fate of Koushiro.

But the crease of the thick eyebrow and the slight set of the well-defined jaw did nothing to soothe their hearts - it only heightened their fears. And the thin, grim line that the usually full mouth was formed into did nothing to help either.

Stopping about a two feet away from the five, the doctor once again brushed back his unruly hair and then let out a long sigh.

"I’m Doctor Hitora, I take it that you are all here for Koushiro Izumi?" the man asked smoothly, his tone carefully trained to remain neutral.

No one said anything. Nods were the only reply to Doctor Hitora’s received.

"Well, I suggest that we all take a seat to discuss the condition of Koushiro," Doctor Hitora commented as he gestured toward the uncomfortable seats.

Briefly arranging themselves in the chairs, Mrs. Izumi and the others waited impatiently for news of Koushiro. The tension in the room was so thick it was stifling.

"From the looks on your faces, I take it that you all want to get to the heart of the matter. And I will do so. I have good news as well as bad; please listen to everything I say before jumping to any conclusions.

"Mr. Izumi is alive. We managed to remove the bullet that was lodged in his right lung before too much was done. We had to perform surgery to repair the punctured lung and Mr. Izumi is now on a respirator.

"Mr. Izumi had lost a great deal of blood, and we had to perform a many blood transfusions to stabilize his condition. We are still monitoring his state to see if things are improving or not.

"You must understand that Mr. Izumi has suffered malnutrition, mutilation – which the scars will fade with time – and rape. Although many of his wounds were external, those internal ones will take a longer to fully recover. But that is not the main concern of this matter.

"We are concerned about the mental state that Mr. Izumi will be in if or when he wakes up. Whether or not Mr. Izumi does awake is entirely left to him, and we can only hope that he does. We can only guess as to how this incident has traumatized him. The psychological effects are the most threatening things to Mr. Izumi’s well being. His physical wounds will heal, but will the scars inside his mind heal as well? This we don’t know, and won’t know until he wakes up. And even then we won’t truly know.

"That is pretty much all of his diagnosis. I’m very sorry that I had to bring you the bad news – but the good thing is that Mr. Izumi is alive, and that accounts a lot considering what he has been through. Are there any questions or concerns that you have?"

When the doctor finished, an eerie silence filled the room, the occupants lost in their own thoughts as they digested the information. Doctor Hitora waited patiently, his heart hurting as he watched the emotions flicker across the faces before him.

This was probably the hardest part of being a doctor.

Finally, the silence was broken by a strangled sob that escaped Mrs. Izumi’s throat as she cupped her mouth, tears spilling from her eyes and down her cheeks. More cries came, each one louder and more violent than the one before. No one could quite tell whether Mrs. Izumi was relieved or devastated.

After Mrs. Izumi’s initial sob, Sora followed her, her slight form shaking with each cry. Taichi, who was closest to her, consoled her as Jyou did his best to comfort Mrs. Izumi until Mr. Izumi came. Yamato, face blank and devoid of any emotion, merely sat there allowing the doctor’s words wash over him like a great wave.

His mind tried to grasp what the doctor said, but for some reason, he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it.

He was happy that Koushiro was alive, but at what price?

He didn’t want to imagine what was going through Koushiro’s mind at the moment, didn’t want to believe that his friend was lying unconscious on a cold, sterilized bed relying on a respirator to keep him breathing.

Before he knew what was happening, large, angry tears burned down his cheeks, and something between a sob and a roar erupted from his mouth.

He would make the bastard who did this to Koushiro pay…

He would hunt the damned prick down until the day he died.

It was the least he could do.

~~

PART 16

"Can… can we see him?" Taichi asked quietly, his quiver in his voice betraying his emotions. He needed to be strong… he needed to – Dammit, he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to see Koushiro.

"He’s sleeping right now –" Doctor Hitora started, his tone dubious.

"Please, Doctor, please let us see him with our own eyes," Sora pleaded, cutting the doctor off before he could deny them.

"Please let me see my son… it’s been nearly a year since I last saw him… please…" Mrs. Izumi beseeched, still held by Jyou, who had been silent the entire time.

Shaking his head in defeat, Doctor Hitora complied with their request, unable to say no.

"Fine, but only one or two at a time. We don’t want to overwhelm him. Please be quiet when you are in the room, he is not in a condition to be disturbed. And be wary of the equipment as well. Follow me," Doctor Hitora warned as he got up from his seat, waiting for the others to do so as well.

Then he led down the hallway of the Intensive Care Unit, and to a door with the number 332 simply painted on it. Slowly opening the door, Doctor Hitora admitted Mrs. Izumi into the darkened room first.

~~

The only illumination in the room, save for the red and green blinking lights of the machines, was the soft glow of an overhead lamp above Koushiro’s sleeping figure. It bathed the pale skin in an ethereal sheen, making him seem as if he was a fallen angel swathed in simple garments.

Unruly red hair, longer than the last time she had seen it, fell haphazardly about the thin face, barely kissing the soft eyelids that were closed in blissful sleep. Cheeks, once round and full of color, were now sunken and pallid, several angry marks marring the otherwise flawless skin. A plastic mask covered a straight nose and slightly parted lips, forcing oxygen into the unconscious boy.

The white, paper-like gown pooled about the painfully thin form, hiding the sharp angles of the once full body. Long arms, embellished with cuts were carefully wrapped in soft white gauze in hopes to prevent further infection.

Mrs. Izumi stood two feet away from the bed just watching the shallow rise and fall of her son’s chest. She was afraid that if she moved any closer, her son would disappear.

It had been too long.

Steeling herself and chasing away her doubts, Mrs. Izumi went to Koushiro’s side and just gazed at him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she reached out with a trembling hand to gently caress an undamaged cheek.

"Oh, Koushiro…" Mrs. Izumi whispered as her hand moved to brush the slightly damp bangs back so that she could see the entire face of her little boy.

"My angel… my sweet, sweet angel," her soft voice continued as she stared down at the sleeping face. A finger moved to smooth out the seemingly permanent crease along Koushiro’s forehead, tenderly dancing across the pale face.

Mrs. Izumi nearly cried out when Koushiro jerked away from the touch, a silent cry escaping his lips.

"It’s just me, Koushiro, it’s just your mother – you’re safe now. Please don’t reject me… please," Mrs. Izumi choked out as she brushed her hand again Koushiro’s cheek again. A thick eyebrow furrowed, but this time Koushiro didn’t shy away.

"Oh, Koushiro! I love you so much… I … I…" Mrs. Izumi said through sobs as she bent down to place an affectionate kiss on the sweaty forehead.

Covering her mouth with one hand, Mrs. Izumi stood up and walked shakily toward the door. He baby boy was alive… he was alive…

A pair of arms caught her as Mrs. Izumi swooned, her bag dropping noisily onto the tiled floor. Taichi carried Mrs. Izumi to the small couch in the corner of the room, settling her limp form comfortably against the surprisingly soft cushions. Sora came up beside him and placed Mrs. Izumi’s forgotten purse onto the other seat.

Sora nodded to Taichi and then exited the room to wait her turn, leaving Taichi alone with Koushiro.

~~

PART 17

Taichi felt uncomfortable standing there beside the small, clean bed that held the atrophied body that had once been Koushiro. It seemed that he was intruding upon the unconscious boy – as if he was being disrespectful somehow. He felt like a voyeur gazing at some perverse display.

And Koushiro was not a display.

Amber orbs traced the thin tubes that were attached to the inert form, some supplying blood and others providing nourishment for the starved body. It was obvious that Koushiro had only been fed sporadically... just enough to keep him alive.

Because they were no fun to fuck when they were dead.

Rage welled up in Taichi as the image of Koushiro’s battered body lying on the spoiled bed flashed across his mind and he had to bite back the urge to hit something. This was not the place to let his anger get the best of him.

But as soon as the fury had come, it quickly went away, leaving Taichi feeling cold and empty. He could have prevented this… he could have…

If only he hadn’t been so selfish…

If only…

If –

A soft moan, colored with a pain and fear, cut into Taichi’s self-recriminations, causing him to return his focus to the boy lying on the bed. Worry coursed through Taichi’s veins as he watched Koushiro’s eyebrows furrow together in a look of consternation. Another strangled cry bled through the mask as Koushiro shook his head from side to side, his red hair falling about in fluttering wisps with each turn.

Koushiro jerked about, trying to gain release from the constraints that were binding him. Weakly, Koushiro tried to move his limbs, but found them immobile and useless. There was something suffocating him… something covering his face, and he needed to get it off… now…

Taichi froze as Koushiro continued to struggle, the redhead coughing violently as he rejected the oxygen that the mask was pumping into him. Taichi opened his mouth to call for help, but his voice had been stolen by panic. If he didn’t stop Koushiro soon, Koushiro would hurt himself – and Koushiro was in bad enough shape as it was.

Hesitantly, Taichi placed his clammy hands on Koushiro’s shoulders, nearly jumping back at how thin they were under his touch. Hoping he wasn’t causing his friend more pain, Taichi gently held Koushiro’s shoulders down, preventing the boy from moving too much.

Just as Taichi touched the bony shoulders, Koushiro immediately stiffened and grew very still. It was an instantaneous reflex that made Taichi’s heart clench. It was as if Koushiro’s subconscious mind now associated every touch as something defiling and dirty, and that if he attempted to reject the touch, he would suffer unwanted consequences.

"Easy, Kou, it’s all right," Taichi whispered, still holding onto the shoulders as if they were his lifeline.

But Koushiro was not to be easily soothed. Taichi could feel the fine trembling that shook the frail form through the thin hospital gown under his fingers. Koushiro seemed to have forgotten about the constricting mask and the numerous little tubes attached to his body, only waiting obediently until the hands on his body released him.

But his breathing was still choked and strained.

The sudden realization that Koushiro thought he was the man who raped him caused Taichi to let go of Koushiro’s shoulders as if they burned him. How could Koushiro think… he would never touch Koushiro that way… he…

A shrill wail jostled Taichi from his thoughts and Taichi looked around the room bewildered, covering his ears from the horrendous noise. Red lights glared on the flickering machines as displays went wild with the information they were being fed.

Taichi’s eyes fell upon one monitor in particular, and his own cry joined the shriek from the machine.

Koushiro’s heart had stopped.

Taichi briefly recalled that someone roughly pulled him away from the side of the bed, shouting at him to explain what had happened. But Taichi couldn’t have made his mouth move if he had wanted to – he was too busy staring at the flat line running across the screen.

Then he too joined Mrs. Izumi in the land of dreams…

~~

PART 18

They leaned against the bright, cheerfully white walls, each waiting in anticipation for their visit with the patient inside the small room. Each thought of what they wanted to say to the boy that they had finally found, but they knew that their words would leave them as soon as they stepped through the door.

What could they really say to the figure on the bed who probably didn’t even acknowledged their presence, more so their words?

But these questions and those like them were suddenly halted when a bone-chilling shriek erupted from the behind the brown door of Koushiro’s room. They stood there paralyzed, staring at each other for some semblance of explanation; waiting for someone to lead them into the room.

No one moved.

Doctor Hitora rushed towards them, along with several nurses, narrowly missing from knocking them over as they fled into the room. Deciding as a whole to follow the white-clad melee, Yamato, Sora, and Jyou made their way through the door.

Nurses ran about the room, some pushing this and that button on different machines and consoles, while others attended to Koushiro. Doctor Hitora had Taichi by the arm, shaking him slightly as he demanded Taichi to tell him what happened.

Yamato saw the way that Taichi wavered, and dashed towards the boy as Taichi fell towards the floor. Catching Taichi by the waist, Yamato hefted the limp form against him, gently urging Taichi to wake up.

Doctor Hitora watched in shock as Taichi fell, but had to leave Taichi with Yamato as a nurse came up to him and informed him of Koushiro’s condition. Jyou and Sora materialized beside Yamato and the unconscious Taichi as more nurses appeared, carrying several items with them.

One nurse, her strawberry blonde hair tied back in a severe bun, politely asked the four to exit so that they could concentrate on their work. They did not need any type of distraction whatsoever – the boy was in a precarious state of health as it was, they didn’t need further complications.

Ushering the four out the room and into the hallway, the nurse hurriedly shut the door behind her, leaving Jyou, Sora, Yamato, and Taichi alone outside. Confused and troubled by the events that had transpired before they could understand them, the three conscious teens stared at each other and then at the closed door.

"What…what just happened?" Jyou asked, his voice revealing what he feared.

"I don’t know man, but I can betcha my ass it wasn’t good…" Yamato trailed off as he shifted the dead weight in his arms.

And again, the waiting began.

~~

PART 19

After a grueling three hours, Doctor Hitora, exhausted and drained, finally emerged from the room that held Koushiro. Several nurses, looking just as haggard as the doctor, filed past, nodding briefly to the four in the hallway. One nurse, her rich, brown hair pulled back in a long braid flashed an encouraging smile as she walked by, pushing a cart that held the equipment that they had recently used to the sterilization room.

After the last nurse left, Doctor Hitora gently closed the door, and turned to the teenagers who were looking expectantly at him. Running his hand through his gray-streaked hair, the doctor closed his eyes briefly before saying anything.

"Mr. Izumi is one lucky person. It seemed that he had returned to partial consciousness, and had a case of shock when he felt the mask and tubes connected to his body. His struggle caused him to reject the oxygen being supplied, and he choked on it – the reason for the intense coughing. And when Mr. Yagami there, attempted to restrain Mr. Izumi, it seemed that Mr. Izumi’s heart failed. We aren’t exactly sure why this occurred; it is certainly something that we have never encountered before. We will have to run more tests on Mr. Izumi in case we missed anything. Due to Mr. Izumi’s labored actions, the stitches we used to patch up his lung had come undone. We had to operate again to ensure that fluid did not gather in the punctured lung.

"He is currently in critical condition, and I don’t think that anymore visitors would be beneficial towards his recovery. We placed him on mild sedatives to ensure that he does not wake up suddenly and harm himself again. It seemed that Mr. Yagami did more good than harm when he tried to keep Mr. Izumi from moving. Without Mr. Yagami’s help, Mr. Izumi may have further punctured his lung before we could close it. Again, we will have to keep Mr. Izumi under close watch, and no visitors will be allowed until he is stabilized. I hope that you understand," Doctor Hitora said, his voice ragged, yet still smooth and firm.

"And as for Mr. Yagami and Mrs. Izumi, I suggest you take them to the waiting room until they have awakened. The receptionist should be able to retrieve some towels and some cool water for you. We will keep you informed of Mr. Izumi’s condition," Dr. Hitora commented as gave them a wan smile and then disappeared down the long hallway.

"I’ll get Mrs. Izumi, you guys go ahead and head back to the waiting room, I’ll be right behind you," Jyou remarked as he slowly opened the door, afraid of disturbing the emaciated figure on the bed.

"All right, see you," Yamato replied as Sora came to help him with Taichi’s sagging form. Jyou nodded and then quietly slipped inside to retrieve Mrs. Izumi.

Together, Yamato and Sora made their way with Taichi to the waiting room. Grunting as they turned the corner, Yamato looked at Sora and a wry smile came to his face.

"You know, Sora, when Taichi wakes up, I’m telling him to go on a diet…"

~~

PART 20

The first thing that Jyou noticed when he entered the room was the sudden drop in temperature. The circulating air was cold and clinically clean with the nearly overwhelming scent of strong antiseptic. Pulling his jacket tighter around his body, Jyou searched the room for the figure of Mrs. Izumi.

The wintry atmosphere unnerved him, making Jyou feel as if he was in one of those cold chamber rooms where dead bodies were stored. Jyou quickly pushed that thought away – this was not a vault for the dead, it was only Koushiro’s hospital room.

But it was close enough.

Shaking his head in an attempt to ward off such ominous notions, Jyou shivered, and not because he was cold either.

Brushing back a few errant strands from his face, Jyou continued his search, adamantly keeping his eyes from wandering toward the small bed under the only light in the room. Jyou knew that if he saw Koushiro, he wouldn’t be able to leave.

Finally pinpointing Mrs. Izumi sprawled on a little couch in the far corner, Jyou breathed a sigh of relief – now he could just get his burden and go.

Walking past the illuminated bed, Jyou tried to ignore the whirs and beeps the various machines made or the slight rasping sound of Koushiro’s breathing. Bright multicolored lights flashed in Jyou’s peripheral vision, tempting him to take a look at the boy he cared for. Clenching his fists, Jyou strengthened his resolve, and finally made it to Mrs. Izumi without incident.

As he bent over Mrs. Izumi’s prone form, a problem made itself known. How was he going to get Mrs. Izumi to the waiting room? It wasn’t as if there was a spare wheel chair in the room, and Jyou seriously doubted that Mrs. Izumi would appreciate being dragged down the hall.

It seemed that Jyou had no choice but to carry Mrs. Izumi. Praying that he didn’t drop Koushiro’s mother, Jyou slid his arms around Mrs. Izumi and lifted her; cradling the prone form to lean against his chest. Shifting her a bit in his hold, Jyou was happy to find that Mrs. Izumi was not very heavy at all.

But that didn’t exactly mean she was light either.

Catching sight of Mrs. Izumi’s purse, Jyou bent forward carefully and grasped it in his right hand. Then he turned around slowly and made his way towards the door, making sure not to bump Mrs. Izumi into anything along the way.

As Jyou reached the door, he abruptly turned around and faced the place where the source of light came from. Jyou allowed himself to steal one glance at the young boy he longed for; his ebony eyes drinking every detail before he tore away from the sight and turned back around.

Closing his eyes for a few silent moments, Jyou recalled the image he had seen, running over every contour of Koushiro’s body.

The bright yet amazingly soft light had bathed the white-clad figure a surreal glow, highlighting the red strands that fell chaotically about a pale face. Dark auburn eyelashes kissed the bony cheeks and the dark shadows under the closed eyes. Despite the oxygen mask and permanent furrow of a red eyebrow, Koushiro’s face had looked peaceful – almost angelic in a morbid sense.

What Jyou would have given to brush away those unruly locks of red. What he would have sacrificed just to place an affectionate kiss on that ashen forehead…

But the picture was marred by the ugly tubes that crisscrossed over Koushiro’s thin form, seeming to bury Koushiro under the mass of multicolored tubing. But most of the wires and such were hidden underneath a bleached blanket that covered the majority of the bed, leaving only glimpses of tubing to be seen.

The image was heartbreaking, but at least Koushiro wasn’t naked and bloody lying on a soiled bed…

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, Jyou opened his eyes and blinked fiercely, willing the tears to disappear. Heaving a shuddering breath, Jyou composed himself and secured his hold on Mrs. Izumi.

Quietly slipping through opening he had made earlier, Jyou, with Mrs. Izumi, stepped into the warmer but just as distant surroundings of the hallway. Reaching back with the hand that held Mrs. Izumi’s purse, Jyou carefully closed the door, and then made his way to the waiting room.

And even if he could have, Jyou didn’t bother to wipe away the single tear that rolled down his cheek.

~~

PART 21

"Hey, you want some coffee? I’m going to get some while I get those towels Dr. Hitora was talking about," Sora asked as she helped Yamato lay Taichi across several of the hard, orange chairs.

"Sure. And if you can, get one for Jyou too. I know he’s not exactly a coffee drinker, but I don’t think he’ll mind too much right now," Yamato replied as he took off his jacket to make a makeshift pillow for Taichi’s head. Rolling the material into a somewhat comfortable lump, Yamato placed it under the thick mass of brown hair.

"All right. Now stay out of trouble while I’m gone," Sora chided, a warm smile gracing her features as she patted Yamato on the back before walking off to the receptionist desk.

"Don’t worry, _mother_, I’ll be good," Yamato mumbled at the retreating figure of his friend. He made sure to emphasize the word ‘mother,’ but couldn’t help the small smile that ruined the jibe. Sometimes Sora just knew the right words to say to lighten the mood.

Shaking his head, Yamato took a seat next to the seat that Taichi’s head rested on, let out a long, drawn out sigh. He felt so utterly drained. Scrubbing his face with his hands, Yamato realized how tired he was.

Taking a glance at his watch, Yamato noted that it was already 2 a.m.

About 30 hours since he last slept.

After Taichi told him that they had found Koushiro, Yamato had been unable to sleep. He had been too happy and anxious over the news – who wouldn’t be? So, Yamato had stayed up all night, waiting for the little red clock on his dresser to tell him that he could go to the police station.

In fact, as Yamato thought about it, this whole ordeal was made up of waiting.

Waiting for Koushiro to come to the hotel so long ago, waiting for Jyou and Sora to come back from their search, waiting for eight fucking months for the police to find Koushiro, waiting to go and save Koushiro, waiting for some word on Koushiro’s condition, waiting to visit Koushiro, waiting while Dr. Hitora and a melee of nurses operated on Koushiro, waiting…

All they did was wait.

It was slowly driving Yamato over the edge.

Ever since that fateful night, Yamato had stopped his touring and returned home. He threw his guitar into a closet and never touched it again. The only instrument he would touch was his old harmonica. Taichi and Sora, who had been key players on their respective teams, had gradually lost the spirit to play. They were still on their teams, but they were as useful as rocks. And Jyou… well, Jyou just drowned himself further into his studies, not caring about his health or anything other than school work and Koushiro. Yamato recalled that Jyou had even been sent to the hospital since he ‘accidentally’ forgot to eat for few weeks.

Those eight months had been pure hell.

And Yamato had a sinking feeling that everything would only go down hill from this point on…

"Hey, Yamato… Yamato! Hey, Idiot with the Blond Hair!" a voice called through Yamato’s haze of thought.

"What?" Yamato replied intelligently as his ears slowly registered the voice as Sora’s. Looking up, Yamato saw Sora standing before him juggling three styrofoam cups of coffee and a little bag that had some towels and other things in it.

"Typical… you leave and show up with more things than you can handle, and they don’t even think to help. Men!" Sora grumbled good-naturedly as she nearly lost her hold on one of the cups of _hot_ coffee, "You can help anytime now!"

"Oh… sorry," Yamato apologized as he took two of the cups out of Sora’s hands.

One thing positive that had resulted out of this whole thing was that the four of them had become closer friends.

"Yeah, yeah, that’s what they always say," Sora quipped lightly as she set down the remaining cup of coffee on the seat opposite of Yamato’s and then began to go through the contents of the bag she held.

"But you did look quite cute sitting there with that brooding look of yours while you ran your fingers through Tai-kun’s hair," Sora added as she took out a white towel and a water bottle, the smirk evident in her words.

Yamato nearly choked on the bitter, but strong coffee he was drinking when he heard Sora’s words. He swallowed and coughed a bit before sending Sora a scathing look.

"What?" Sora asked innocently as she wetted the towel. She was well aware of Yamato’s discomfort of showing public displays of affection. It was just funny that he had done it unconsciously without realizing it.

Ignoring the second glare sent her way, Sora sat herself on the edge of the seat supporting Taichi’s chest, and began to wipe Taichi’s forehead with the cooled towel, hoping to revive the brown haired boy. The nurse had said that Taichi and Mrs. Izumi should come around with the stimulus of the wet towel. Otherwise, they would just have to wait until the two woke up on their own.

As Sora poured some more cold water onto the towel, Yamato, who had recovered from Sora’s remark, snorted and mumbled something under his breath.

"What?" Sora asked as she looked up from her work.

"Oh, I was just saying that it would probably be more effective if you poured the water somewhere else instead of the towel… I mean, the water _is_ cold…" Yamato trailed off as he hid his smile behind the rim of the cup.

A lovely scarlet blush raced across Sora’s face as she caught what Yamato was implying and Yamato couldn’t help but laugh.

"You are impossible, Yamato Ishida!" Sora exclaimed as she resumed her efforts.

"It was just a suggestion," Yamato tossed back, glad to have this banter instead of the awful silence that had been present all day long.

Tipping the cup up, Yamato drained what was left of the coffee, and made a grimace at the lingering bitter taste. Crushing the small cup in his hand, Yamato placed the ruined cup and the other cup still full with coffee onto the seat where Sora had left hers.

Opening his mouth to comment on something, Yamato stopped short when Jyou stepped into the waiting room. Raking his hand through his blond hair, Yamato stood up and made his way over to Jyou to help with Mrs. Izumi. Between the two of them, they laid the unconscious woman on the chairs in the same manner like Taichi.

This time, they used Mrs. Izumi’s purse as a pillow for her head.

"Coffee?" Yamato asked as he gestured to the orange chair holding the little cups.

"Why not," Jyou answered tiredly, reaching for a cup.

"Yamato, there’s another towel in that bag and another water bottle too. You can use those to help wake up Mrs. Izumi," Sora said as she gestured to the bag that was opposite of where she was sitting.

"Why? Can’t Jyou do it?" Yamato fake-complained as he made his way to the ugly gray bag containing the towel and water bottle.

"Jyou isn’t going to do it because Jyou just carried Mrs. Izumi all the way here _by himself_," Jyou supplied before Sora could, a little smile playing on his lips.

The laughter that escaped from Sora as she turned to pour more water on the towel covered the little moan that came from Taichi.

"Big deal, Mr. Kido. _I_ had to lug that lump over there. And he was heavy even _with_ Sora’s help!" Yamato quipped back as he gestured toward Taichi.

"You saying I’m fat, Ishida?" a groggy voice cut through the teasing.

Three pairs of eyes darted to Taichi who was staring at Yamato with narrowed, albeit cloudy eyes.

~~

PART 22

"You’re awake!" Sora cried, saving Yamato from having to answer Taichi’s question. Yamato mentally made a note to thank Sora later.

"Ow… don’t talk so loud… ugh…" Taichi said, shutting his eyes and moving his hands to clutch his head. A slight wince appeared on his face as he tried to sit up. Thinking better of the situation, Taichi just decided to stay where he was – at least until the world wasn’t trying move out from beneath him.

"Take it easy, you just woke up from a faint. We don’t need you doing anything while you’re groggy. You’d probably run into something and break a rib," Jyou chided as he plopped down into the seat opposite of Sora and Taichi.

"Oh… my head feels like Machinedramon just stepped on it…and why is everything so damn bright?" Taichi complained, his vision swimming and the thrumming of his head getting louder by the minute.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch. You sound worse than Jyou does on a bad day," Yamato quipped as he made his way over to Taichi.

"I resent that!" Jyou retorted, but couldn’t help the small upturning of his lips as Yamato waved off his comment.

"Let’s see how you’d act if _you_ fainted, Ishida – Oh crap! Where’s Kou – Is he okay?" Taichi snapped, but then remembered what had happened before his world had went dark when he was in Koushiro’s room. With this new worry plaguing his mind, Taichi quickly scrambled from his position and nearly toppled over when he tried to stand up.

"Whoa there, partner," Yamato warned as he caught the unstable Taichi, holding the boy against him a little longer than necessary.

"But Kou – he – his heart –" Taichi cried as he tried to squirm out of Yamato’s hold.

"He’s fine, Taichi. Dr. Hitora and some nurses took care of him. We just can’t see him for a while, that’s all," Sora said softly, trying to soothe her friend’s nerves. Taichi wasn’t supposed to be exerting himself so much.

"Just sit down, Taichi. There’s nothing we can do right now, and Sora’s right, Koushiro’s fine for the time being. No need to tire yourself out – the worse has yet to come," Jyou commented quietly, his eyes on the cup of coffee he was nursing.

A sad look passed across Taichi’s face and he stopped struggling against Yamato’s arms. Instead, he leaned back into the hold, suddenly needing Yamato’s warmth. And Yamato didn’t pull away either, rather tightening his grip around the chocolate-haired boy.

"Don’t say that, Jyou…" Sora whispered as she reached out to grasp his hands in hers. She could feel the dark cloud falling over them again, and she didn’t like it one bit. Koushiro was safe now – and he was home. Why brood when they had finally found Koushiro? He was amongst friends and family now… and Sora believed that there was no obstacle that they could not overcome together. Koushiro needed them to support him, not for them to lose themselves in ominous thoughts.

Sora really wished Mimi was here. Mimi always knew how to say what Sora could never express.

"Don’t say what, Sora? Don’t say that Koushiro’s physical recovery is only the easy part? That Koushiro’s mental state is in jeopardy? That the boy on that bed may not even be our Koushiro anymore?" Jyou said bitterly, barely able to contain the pain from choking his voice, "How can we sit here and blink a blind eye at all of it?! Was I the only one who saw the pictures on the wall? Did you _see_ what Koushiro was subjected to?! Did you? For all we know, the Koushiro Izumi that we knew may be dead. We can’t ever go back to the way it was before – it’ll never be the same. _Never_. We’re just putting whatever’s left of Koushiro through more agony… don’t you think we owe it to him to let him rest in peace? We’ve lost him…I saw it in his eyes when he was on that… that bed… that blank look… I don’t ever want to see that _nothingness_ again… even… even if that means that Koushiro never opens his eyes again."

"What are you saying, Jyou?!" Sora exclaimed, a look of horror flickering across her face as she tried to deny what she thought Jyou meant.

"I think I’m saying that… I wish the doctors hadn’t been able to save Koushiro…"

~~

PART 23

A cold silence suddenly fell over the four former digi-destined. No one said anything – no one could. Their voices had been stolen, had been destroyed by what Jyou had said. The shock was far too great for any words…

But not for actions.

A sickening crack broke through the thick tension that had gathered, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses flew violently across the room to land with a loud crash on top of the bright linoleum floor.

Two pairs of coffee eyes snapped up to see Yamato, ice-blue eyes wild with unfathomable fury, standing before Jyou’s slumped figure. A thin hand had snaked its way to Jyou’s jaw, but a curtain of sapphire locks hid his face from the world.

Yamato was shaking with the anger that coursed through his veins, and the dull throbbing of his knuckles did nothing to help. Two offending tears burned down his cheeks as he stared at the form before him, barely restraining himself from dealing another blow.

"_How_ … can you say that?!" Yamato cried as he took a shaky step back. His voice was choked with such an intense pain that it was almost tangible.

"TELL ME! Tell me you son of a bitch! How can you dare say that you… you… wish Koushiro had died?! How _could_ you?? I would have never thought you of all people would say that… Damn you, Kido…" Yamato yelled as he suddenly grabbed the front of Jyou’s shirt and pulling the blue-haired up, shaking the lanky boy violently.

"Damn you to hell!" Yamato raged on, slamming Jyou against the wall, not caring when several people began to point. Neither did he stop when two arms snaked around his midsection, trying to pry him off the boy in his hands.

"And I thought you loved him…" Yamato spat out as Taichi finally yanked Yamato away from the battered Jyou, wrestling the blonde away from their blue-haired friend.

But the last words that flew from Yamato’s mouth were more painful than anything that he had physically dealt – those words were a blow to the heart.

And as if his soul was tearing apart – and it was – Jyou broke down and cried.

Really cried.

Ignoring the way his body screamed at the movement, Jyou wrapped his arms around his bended legs, and buried his face into his knees. His whole body shook as wretched sobs racked through his thin frame, and his arms wrapped tighter around his knees until Jyou was nothing but a trembling ball of blue.

But nothing could really console him because although he loved Koushiro with all his heart, deep down inside, he had meant every word he had said…

~~

PART 24

"Let go of me Taichi! Let go!" Yamato yelled as he struggled against Taichi’s hold, oblivious to the crowd that had gathered.

"Not until you calm down," Taichi hissed as Yamato hit a very sensitive spot. It was rather ironic how quickly their roles changed from who was restraining the other.

"Calm down?! Did you hear what that – that mother fucker said??" Yamato snapped as he continued to squirm.

"Yeah, I heard –" Taichi started.

"Then why the hell are you holding me back instead of helping me?!" Yamato cried out, unable to comprehend why Taichi was keeping him from dealing with Jyou.

"’Cause I think I understand what he’s saying…" Taichi whispered; his voice was laced with pain.

Yamato stopped struggling and turned his head to stare at Taichi in absolute disbelief. How…?

"Don’t look at me that way Yama… hear me out…" Taichi pleaded as he saw the betrayal seeping into Yamato’s blue eyes. He tightened his grip on the boy he cared for, already feeling the tension in the body in his arms as Yamato redoubled his efforts to get away.

"Yama, listen to me. Yama! Listen… I don’t want Koushiro dead; trust me on that one. I’d never want him to die…but Yama, I saw Koushiro’s eyes too… they were… oh god… they were _empty_, Yama. There was nothing, absolutely fucking _nothing_ in them. It was like staring into a void or something… Please Yama, don’t ignore me! Jyou didn’t mean he wanted Koushiro dead… you said yourself that Jyou loved the little redhead… He just meant that Koushiro might suffer less if he was… dead. Yama, do you understand? Don’t zone out on me man, talk to me here!" Taichi whispered, the anxiety cracking his voice.

"No… no… NO!" Yamato yelled, tearing himself free from Taichi, "We finally got Kou back, and… and now you two are saying he’s better off dead?! There’s nothing more important than life, Taichi – nothing. And if you think that death is going to stop his suffering, then forget it. Death is just oblivion, Tai. Nothing more. Kou’ll never heal that way… but here, we can help him. I don’t know about you Taichi, but I’m going to bring Kou back to us or I’m going to at least try. We owe him that much. The answers aren’t in death, they’re in life, and I’m going to be damned if I don’t find them. You go on believe in your ‘end Koushiro’s suffering’ campaign. I’m going to be there when it counts."

With that, Yamato turned and stormed out of the waiting room, daring anyone to stop him. No one did.

"Yamato…" Taichi called out weakly after Yamato, knowing that the blonde would never hear him.

Slumping into a hard chair, Taichi covered his face in his hands. This day had been way too long, and this sudden argument was not helping the stress level at all. Everything was all mixed up together – and Taichi felt drained and tired.

Yamato’s words had hurt…

And Taichi couldn’t help the feeling of guilt well up inside of him as Yamato’s harsh sayings replayed in his mind. Yamato was right in his own way, but so was Jyou…

Taichi didn’t want Koushiro to die. He just didn’t want the redhead to suffer… he had already suffered so much. Would it be so bad if they allowed the boy to rest in peace without having him to wake up and find tubes sticking in his body and people pressing in from every direction to see how he was doing?

Taichi didn’t dare try to figure out what was going through Koushiro’s mind or how Koushiro would act when he woke up.

It was too much to think about right now.

All Taichi wanted right now was that everything turn out all right – like when they were kids…

They fought, they won, and then everyone lived happily ever after again.

But it wasn’t that easy anymore…

How could they fight something that they couldn’t see?

And the more he thought about it… the more he felt that there wasn’t going to be a happy ending…

For once, Taichi felt entirely and utterly hopeless.
 

PART 25

//Two weeks later//
 
 They were all together again.

 The four of them were actually in the same room.

 After the violent fight that had occurred nearly two weeks ago, the four of them had split up.

 Sora had tried to patch up the rift that had torn through their group, but after a week of hounding and trying, Sora gave up in frustration and defeat.  She was absolutely disgusted at how the boys were acting.

They had finally gotten Koushiro back safely, and all they did is fight.  What was more important? A few words exchanged or the well being of their friend?

Sora had thought the answer was obvious enough, but apparently, she had been wrong.

Yamato had absolutely refused to speak to anyone whereas Jyou just didn’t speak at all.  Taichi would just brood, giving monosyllabic grunts whenever someone asked him something.

Why were men so stubborn?!

Sora had even told them to get over their damn pride and make up – if not for everyone’s sanity, then at least for Koushiro.
But of course, that hadn’t fazed them.  Sora only received baleful gazes.

So, by the end of the first week, Sora just decided to let the three cool off until they were ready to make amends.  Although she hated the tension, Sora came to the conclusion that if they didn’t want to cooperate, then there was nothing that she could do.
She knew that each of her friends were hurting in their own way, and it hurt her to see them going through the pain alone.  They needed each other – especially now…

But, being the stubborn individuals they were, Taichi, Yamato, and Jyou stayed clear of each other and everyone as humanly possible.

Yet, somehow, they were all in the same room now and no one was dead yet.
 
‘Miracles do happen,’ Sora thought wryly as she watched the three young men in the room, each trying to avoid the other two. And they were failing miserably.

It wasn’t as if there was much room in the doctor’s office to begin with.

With Mr. and Mrs. Izumi both sitting in the only seats (besides the doctor’s chair) in the room, the four teenagers were forced to stand.  Yet, the only way they could all fit into the room, was if they stood side by side.

Sora would have laughed at the irony of the situation if not for the reason for why they were all here.

Farthest from Sora, Yamato, dressed in a slightly opened black button-up shirt and black, form fitting slacks, leaned sullenly against the white colored wall, trying his best to inch away from Taichi.  Next to Yamato, clothed in khaki pants and a dark navy sweatshirt, Taichi fidgeted from one foot to the other, uneasy about being so close to his angry partner.

Over the two-week period, Taichi had sorely missed Yamato’s presence, but being this close to the blonde after the whole fiery incident in the waiting room made the brown-haired boy edgy.  He knew Yamato was still mad at him; and from past experience, Taichi knew that Yamato decided whether they were on good terms or not – and it didn’t look like Yamato was in the forgiving mood.

Next in line, dressed in a long sleeved white turtleneck and gray slacks, Jyou stood aloof, making no eye contact with anyone.  He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and with his head down, his thick sapphire locks cascading about his shoulders.  Every so often, Jyou would push up his glasses, but otherwise he made no movement or sound.

   It was awkward to have Jyou so silent when at the least he would have usually said something self-deprecating or asked about how Koushiro was fairing.  It was as if he was physically in the room, but the entity that was Jyou Kido was not.

Sora fervently hoped that Jyou was not spiraling into depression.  Although some who did not know the blue-haired boy well would say he was not strong, Sora knew that the boy had great strength of will, and they needed that – Koushiro needed it.

She had heard what Jyou had said two weeks ago, and somehow, Sora knew that Jyou had meant it when he said that he thought Koushiro was better off… dead.  But she had heard something behind those words and that something was causing a great well of guilt to consume her tall friend.

 If only she knew what that something was.

It was obvious that Jyou was self-doubting himself, losing himself in the guilt and the confusion.  Sora wondered what was going through Jyou’s mind, wondered what she could do to help soothe her friend’s pain.

Sora, standing beside Jyou, reached out and snaked an arm around Jyou’s thin waist and gave a reassuring squeeze to let Jyou know that she was there for him.  Jyou looked at her through the curtain of his hair and gave her a small, sad smile before returning to his original pose.

Mentally sighing, Sora continued to hold Jyou, needing that physical contact to reassure her that Jyou wouldn’t suddenly disappear.  It was as if they were losing him…

In fact, Sora had an unsettling feeling that everyone was drifting away, that they no longer had an anchor on reality – on who they were.  It was like a void was slowly sucking away the energy and the life in each of them.

And it scared her to no end.

Sora could not wait until Mimi arrived in Japan.   It was only another couple of days until her Mimi-chan would come, and then everything would be much brighter.  Sora firmly believed that Mimi would know how to pull everyone together; the girl had a knack for drawing everyone out of his or her shell.

But there was a small doubt rising in Sora that told Sora that Mimi’s arrival would not help matters much, but rather further strain what little semblance of unity was left.

All the sorrow and pain overwhelmed Sora, leaving her feeling discouraged and helpless.

Wasn’t this supposed to be a time when they came together to celebrate the safe recovery of their friend?  Not this continuous song of grief?

But, Sora’s heart went out to the redhead who had been for so long lost to them.  Sora could not begin to imagine what horrors and agonies Koushiro had and were going through.  His misery made their despair seem so insignificant.

Yet, it was this indefinite and endless cycle of pain and suffering that was slowly destroying everyone’s souls…

 A slight creak of the door interrupted Sora’s thoughts, and Dr. Hitora appeared, apologizing for being late for the meeting that he had called.  Making his way to his desk, Dr. Hitora sat down and then cleared his throat, ready to inform them of how Koushiro was fairing.

Yet, even as Sora listened to Dr. Hitora rattle about the formalities of the situation, a sinking feeling overtook her as she realized that everything was not going to be as wonderful as she had thought…

And, despite her hopes that everything would turn out alright, Sora could not help but feel that the prospect of such a happening was merely impossible and what was to come was much worse than she could have ever dreamed…

~~
PART 26

 “He’s actually doing much better than we had supposed,” Dr. Hitora said as he laced his fingers together, looking at the occupants in his small office.

 Mr. Izumi held his wife’s hand in his own, silently reassuring her that everything was going to be all right, and that he was there for her.  He gave her hand a small squeeze at Dr. Hitora’s statement, flashing his wife a small, but endearing smile.

 Mrs. Izumi gave a tired smile of her own, returning the comforting pressure to her husband’s hand.  Her weary eyes traced the streaks of white hair that dotted her husband’s once black locks and mentally sighed.  The past eight months had been such a terrible time.

 She could still remember how empty the house was without Koushiro in it.  She had often caught herself calling Koushiro for dinner only to suddenly realize he wasn’t there.  At those times she would just cup her mouth and cry, leaning against the kitchen counter for support.

 Mr. Izumi would come into the kitchen and find the familiar scene of his wife mourning over the loss of their son.  He would go to Mrs. Izumi and wrap his arms around her, trying to deny his own tears.  The two would stand there in each other’s arms for a long time before separating and moving to eat a tasteless dinner.

 Often, Mrs. Izumi had found her husband standing in the doorway of Koushiro’s room, just staring blankly at the untouched things.  He would stand there for hours, lost in his thoughts and in his grief.  And sometimes she would join him, gazing at the objects in the darkened room.  Her eyes would water when they fell upon the rocket and spaceship bedspread that they had bought for Koushiro so long ago or the family picture Koushiro had placed on his desk.

 It had been so hard without their son. So hard.

 But now their precious boy was home, finally restored and brought back to them.  And now they could be a family again.
Giving her husband’s hand another squeeze, Mrs. Izumi returned to listening to Dr. Hitora.

“We took Mr. Izumi off the respirator three days ago,” Dr. Hitora began, “and I am very happy to say that he has had no trouble breathing without it.  This shows that the tear in the lung has healed, and will not be of further danger to Mr. Izumi.  The boy is healing very well.  He has already regained fifty percent of his original weight before the… tragic incident.  And I am extremely pleased that the wounds inflicted on Mr. Izumi have nearly finished closing and that there has been little sign of infection anywhere.

“But the main reason why I called you all here today is that I have encouraging news.  Yesterday, around eleven p.m., Mr. Izumi regained consciousness.”

Silence met Dr. Hitora’s last statement.  Everyone was looking at the doctor as if they could not believe what he said.  Dr. Hitora shifted a bit, disturbed and uncomfortable with the sudden scrutiny.

But then the words finally sunk in and the shock melted away from the faces, turning into delighted surprise.

“You mean he’s awake?” Taichi asked, a hopeful flicker of life shimmering in his eyes.

Dr. Hitora nodded, a smile on his face.  But something flickered across his eyes that no one seemed to have noticed.

“He’s awake…” Mrs. Izumi whispered as she looked at her husband, tears streaming down her pale cheeks.  Mr. Izumi nodded, a relieved look passing over his face as he reached over to embrace his wife.

“Did you hear that Yama??? Kou’s awake! He’s awake!” Taichi yelled excitedly as he hugged Yamato, entirely forgetting the tension that had formed between the two.  He would’ve swung Yamato around in circles if there had been room, but lucky for Yamato there wasn’t.

Yamato gave a startled yelp as the brown-haired boy flung his arms around him.  But he couldn’t help but wrapping his arms around the familiar warmth, a small smile gracing his features at Taichi’s exuberance.  And his smile grew wider as he realized what Taichi was saying over and again.

Kou was awake…

Taichi suddenly recognized what he was doing and moved to let go of Yamato, but the blonde tightened his hold on the former leader of the digi-destined and flashed the boy a warm smile.  Seeing that he was forgiven, Taichi returned with his own bright grin before going back to cheering.

“Oh! Did you hear that Jyou?! Kou-chan is awake!” Sora cried happily, tears brimming in her eyes; her gloomy thoughts pushed aside for now by the wonderful news.  She couldn’t wait to tell Mimi! Mimi would be so happy to know that Koushiro had finally woken up.

Sora didn’t notice Jyou’s melancholy reticence because at that moment, a blur of brown and blue came at her, glomping her in a big hug.  Taichi was trying to dance around the room with Sora, but again, his plan failed due to the confined dimensions of the room.

So engrossed with the joyous news, no one noticed how Jyou was still leaning against the wall, completely motionless with his hair still falling about his face.  Nor did they see the fine trembling that covered about the lanky form.

And of course, no one noted the sad tears that burned down Jyou’s cheeks. And if they did, well, they thought they were tears of happiness – but they couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

~~
PART 27

 “I hate to put a damper on the mood,” Dr. Hitora’s mellow voice cut in through the celebrating, “but there are some things that I must warn and tell you about…”

 Five heads looked back to Dr. Hitora who now had his fingers laced together in front of him on the table.  Dr. Hitora noted that the tall one with the blue hair had not looked up, but did not mention anything.

 Clearing his throat, Dr. Hitora took out a manila folder, searching through its contents before taking out a thin stack of paper.  Looking down, Dr. Hitora quickly read over the notes taken on Koushiro for the past two weeks and then turned his eyes back the expectant gazes.

 “As you all know, Mr. Izumi is now conscious - and although that is a great sign for his physical recovery - the concerns over his psychological well-being are now brought into play.  I am saying this because we are fearful of Mr. Izumi’s reactions to having anyone near him, be it family, friends, or strangers. This is a very crucial time for Mr. Izumi, and you all must understand that we need your cooperation and help to see Mr. Izumi through this tragic ordeal.

“After Mr. Izumi’s initial awakening, the nurses recorded that he was fairly passive when approached, not really reacting to anything the nurses said or did.  Although Mr. Izumi has not reacted violently toward any outward stimulus, this passivity may only be temporary.  It is very likely that Mr. Izumi may exhibit violent outbursts.

“And from my own observations, I believe that although Mr. Izumi is ‘conscious,’ he is in some sort of coma-like trance.
“From this I mean that his mind and senses are active as if they were functioning normally, but it seems as if he is unaware of his surroundings.  It is as if he is not absorbing what is going on around him.

“I am not certain as how he may react to any of your presences or if he may even respond to anything that any of you say,” Dr. Hitora continued, stopping only briefly to take a breath.

“Mr. Izumi’s awakening is a monumental step toward his overall recovery, but in order to make further progress, he needs to return to the ‘real world,’ per se.  He needs to be drawn out, even wheedled, out of whatever niche he has retreated into.
“It is very common for rape patients to do so – it is a sort of safeguard, a place where no one can harm them.

“This is where you – his family and friends – come into play.  With your help, I am sure that Mr. Izumi has a good chance of coming back to us.

“Of course, this will take time and patience.  You must understand that it may take as little as two weeks to as long as several years before Mr. Izumi decides to reach out.

“Although he is physically out of danger, Mr. Izumi’s mental state is still at risk.  The longer he stays within his bubble of safety, the harder it will be for us to treat him.  As of now, we are unable to decipher exactly what condition Mr. Izumi’s state of mind is in, but considering what traumatic events he has gone through, the results may be devastating.

“And even when or if Mr. Izumi does return to us, the battle will be hardly over.  At that point, the true road to recovery will begin.  And it will be the most crucial and most difficult time for Mr. Izumi.

“Mr. Izumi will be under a great deal of stress and strain.  His emotions may be quite varied throughout the day and his mental balance unstable.  It is very likely that he will suffer from severe depression among other things ranging from loss of control, lack of concentration, fear, anxiety, and even contemplation of suicide.

“Those are just some of the possible reactions Mr. Izumi may exhibit as he struggles to regain some semblance of self. It will not be an easy task, nor will it come without much pain and sorrow.

“During that time, you must give your total and unbiased support to Mr. Izumi.  He will need it, for without it, he is surely to fail.  He will need you in the days to come more than he ever will.  Although he may struggle against the idea of needing someone to hold him up, you must be there.

“If not, Mr. Izumi may never recover and he may retreat back into the recesses of his mind – forever.”

Dr. Hitora’s words seemed to echo about the room like ominous whispers of tomorrow’s wings.  The occupants of the small office seemed lost in their own mindless thoughts as the meaning of what Dr. Hitora’s speech sunk in.   A cold sense of dread permeated the room, thoroughly extinguishing any feeling of happiness over Koushiro’s recent awakening.

What uncertain future was before them?

And more importantly, what tale of sorrow and woe would be revealed?

End Act One of Book One (The Price of Friendship)