Oh, Sweet Nightmare
Phase IV - I Thought I Was Unshackled
by Akira Ichijouji
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. No shit, Sherlock.
A/N: Wow, this story is just running away with itself. I suppose the whole episode with Yukionnamon was to show how Ken and Dai were getting closer, heh... I originally intended to end the story in that chapter. Teach me to try to plan out my writing...Anyway, here's the fourth part... I might try and make it five. I'm obsessive about round numbers. This is a little OOC for Daisuke, but well, it's a couple of years after 02, so he may change. ^_^ I also think this is starting to be more of a Daiken as apposed to a Kensuke. I'm really not sure which I enjoy more... muahaha...
You may be wondering about the long term affects Yukionnamon had on me. To tell you the truth, there were not many. I did turn bitter, a little -- for a while I was afraid to trust anyone again.
But Takeru helped me out of that. He spoke, I listened. Then I understood. Now I was in his debt.
You also may be wondering how I got on with Daisuke after that. Did we confess our mutual love in the moonlight under the cherry trees? Did I keep worshipping him from afar, later pining away at his seeming indifference, causing him to realize how much he needs me, then committing hari kiri, our souls uniting forever in Heaven? Did I send him anonymous love letters, waiting and hoping for the day that he would realize who sent them?
What a load of bullshit. Things did not change, not really. Well, not for a little while, anyway.
* * *
This change occurred several weeks after the Yukionnamon Incident. I had been out of the hospital for a week, and was now strong enough to get out of bed. My mother was as overprotective as usual, and would not let me have any visitors, which I felt more than my injuries. Weeks of isolation. Weeks of little or no human contact. I had not realized until then how dependent I am on it.
But the day had come when I could go back to the Digital World. The other Digidestined had planned a picnic there, to celebrate me getting back on my feet. I was moved at this, but then a wave of sarcasm choked me. *If they hadn't forced everyone to split up, this never would have happened. It's their fault. Their fault.* I forced it down, but the joy I had felt about my friends had gone. Damn it all to hell, anyway.
I met them in the Digital World, and I at once craved isolation. I am a strange creature, one of paradox and paroxysm. Their light mortal banter disgusted me.
*What is wrong with me?* the gentle Ken asked.
*There is nothing wrong with me. This is who I am.* said the Kaiser.
*Don't you mean, "who =we= are"?* asked the gentle Ken.
*I suppose I do. I am you and you are me, after all... Although I would prefer if it was just me, goody-goody kind boy.* The Kaiser grins.
*Sticks and stones...*
*Oh, just stop. You aren't fooling anyone, you hypocritical bastard.*
The kind Ken looks insulted. *Excuse me?*
*You heard me,* the Kaiser snarls. *You know very well what I meant, too. You pretend to have changed but you're still just me, with a different hairstyle, new outfit, and all the same sadistic thought patterns. How typical of you, Ichijouji.*
I broke out of my reverie. I did not think the doctors were right in saying I was sane.
"I'm glad to have you back, Ken-kun," Takeru said from across the circle. I looked up, meeting his eyes. It was still there, the love. If at all possible, it had grown.
Oh, Kami, no. This was getting worse all the time.
* * *
Daisuke beckoned me from the forest. I had followed, curious to know what he had to say to me that he could not say in front of the others. He stopped a little ways into the forest, turning around and capturing my eyes.
"I wanted to thank you..." I was taken aback. Thank me for what? "... For saving my life," he answered my unspoken question.
Confusion and the discomfort of misunderstanding began to eat away at my brain. "But I didn't save your life, Daisuke-kun..." He smiled.
"I know you didn't actually. But you didn't know that I wasn't dying -- you didn't know that Yukionnamon had tricked you. You...did what you did to save me and I'm grateful."
A little shard of confusion poked through to my cerebral cortex. I was speechless. Never in my life had I been at such a loss for words. I was usually the master of the awkward pause, the conversational charmer.
Daisuke picked up on my floundering and acted on part instinct, part desire, and part absolute insanity. He reached up, pulling me down to his level, kissing me hard on the lips. I stiffened, my brain shutting down completely. I was afraid to move, afraid if I did he would stop and that I would lose him forever.
But my brain had just stopped working. If he had let go of me I would have fallen. *If* he let go, which was not happening any time soon. I began to relax as I regained a little control of my senses. Sight. That was always good. I could see him, his eyes closed, a pink tinge covering his cheeks. OK, hearing. I sorted out the different sounds. Digi-birds chirping, digi-leaves rustling, the softly smacking noise that Daisuke made kissing me. Next: smell. Not much there anyway; there was a summery sort of smell in the air, combined with the smell of Daisuke's shampoo. Touch. Oh, yes. Daisuke had one hand cupped around my neck, holding my head in place. The other was in no certain position around my waist. The breeze was blowing against my hair. Then there were his lips. Silky soft and against mine, they were enough to make me swoon right then and there. Then at last, taste. Oh... sweet... Kami... He tasted of the chocolate truffle he had just eaten, as well as of pecans. Pecans covered in maple syrup. Kami, take pity on my soul.
That was when my voice box recovered from the shock. I let out a muffled moan, becoming aware that my mobility and motor functions had also returned. I pulled him closer, my hands roaming across his back. Little shocks of pleasure shot up through my chest as he kissed me harder, forcing me to open my mouth, which I did without hesitation.
It just felt so... right. Ohhhhh, Kami, did it feel right...
Our tongues were making no certain movements, they were just locked together in exploratory motion. I could feel all my internal organs turning to mush. I never thought it would feel so good.
Then I heard it. A gasp from behind me shook me out of my near-drunk state. My euphoria fled on wings of betrayal.
I watched, in shock, as Takeru turned and ran. I followed, leaving a bemused but aroused Daisuke in my wake.
* * *
I followed Takeru for quite some time. He did not know I had come after him, and I thought he would keep running all day. Then he ran into Hikari. I felt like an unwelcome intruder, so I hid, the voyeur that I am. She and Tailmon were gathering flowers in a small clearing. A typical female occupation. Takeru stopped, dangerous anger smoldering near the surface of his skin. He walked nonchalantly up to Hikari, peering into her basket.
"Hello, Hikari-chan," Takeru said, cheerfully.
Hikari smiled at him. "Hello, Takeru-kun," she replied, a tiny bit puzzled. Suddenly he had his arms around her.
"I need you, Hikari... I love you... My caring for you is deeper than anything I've ever felt before..." Hikari looked partially delighted, partially confused, and partially frightened.
"Ah, Takeru-kun? Do you think you're rushing into things?" He shook his head.
"You are my hikari, Hikari. I need you..." From where I was standing I was sure this would not be good. He had that wild look in his eyes again.
"Takeru, you're scaring me..." All of the other emotions had left Hikari, and the fear had taken control. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"I've never been better in my life. I'm holding you in my arms, aren't I?" Ah, Takeru, always the flatterer, always the flirt.
"Yes..." Hikari had lost a little of the fear, and her expression expressed mostly confusion. But the fear returned when Takeru started kissing her. Hard.
At first she let him, possibly seeming to enjoy it. Then, I was afraid he was bruising her lips with the merciless attack of the predator. She began to struggle, trying to push him away.
"Hey!" Tailmon sensed something was wrong. "Takeru-kun, what are you doing?"
Hikari managed to get away for a moment, and he said, almost evilly, "Oh, Hikari, don't you want me? I'm yours. Forever." The wild look of desire had permeated his entire being.
"Takeru, stop! This isn't you! Stop!" Hikari was wildly struggling, now. I could not stand it any longer. I burst out of the foliage, helping Tailmon to tug the two apart. Hikari stood behind me, a look of pure shock written across her face. Takeru was wildly struggling against me.
"Ken-chan, no, stop, you don't know what you're doing..." He trailed off as he realized just what *he* had been about to do.
"Oh, Kami, oh... Hikari-chan... I'm so sorry..." He abruptly sat down on the ground and started to cry. Hikari dropped to her knees, holding her best friend of eight years to her. Takeru took huge shuddering sobs, and Hikari did her best to calm them. I paced up and down. Up and down. Desperate, I needed to cry, too, but I did not. I kept pacing, trying to make my body catch up with my thoughts.
Now he knew. I completely blew this one. I meant to tell him before. I meant to break it off before it turned to this. I did not mean to turn adulterer. I could not imagine what he must think of me. A deep pall of shame clouded my heart. Good Kami, what have I done?
* * *
The heart is a strange place. Filled with longings, desires, and dreams, it is easy to get lost within the silky red folds of it. I knew *I* had.
After that day I felt a tenderness towards Takeru that had never been there before. I felt I was responsible for his angst, and I wanted to kiss away the tears. It was a maternal sort of instinct.
I never stopped thinking about Daisuke. I had not seen him since I ran away from his kiss. Ohhhh... that kiss was the most exhilarating thing I had ever experienced. It was the perfect mating of oneness and sexual desire that I had never experienced with Takeru. Takeru needed no love for himself. He gave it all away because of his selfless persona. At first I enjoyed this. But I wanted to give, too.
I considered seeking Daisuke out, making him understand. But that was unnecessary. He came to me. I led him to my room, unsure of what to think. As soon as I had closed the door, he touched my face, cupping the side of it in his palm, running his thumb over my cheekbone. I closed my eyes, letting out a long, shaky sigh. I pushed into his hand like a wild animal wanting to be touched.
"Why did you run away? The other day?" The contact between us had definitely had its effect on Daisuke. His voice was a little huskier than usual. I did not care to answer, so I kissed him. The same emotion that had possessed me the other day came flooding back, full force. He let his arms dangle around my neck, palms pressed against my back. I wrapped mine around his waist, feeling with a detached wonder how his chest rose and fell with every breath. I could feel his heart beat, we were so close. But that could have been mine. Or both beating as one.
I felt the same sensation as before -- the way my insides would melt, the way I felt like putty in his arms. Despite my need to control, I wanted Daisuke to control *me*. I wanted to submit to his every whim, be his toy, his plaything. His slave... Little shivers ran up and down my spine as Daisuke slipped one hand in my shirt. As our flesh made contact, I let in a sharp intake of breath, moaning slightly around Daisuke's tongue. He echoed the moan, pulling me closer. Our hips pressed together, and it was too late to stop. Both of us were too far gone for that. I slowly wilted to the ground, my legs giving out under me as Daisuke's other hand slid down to squeeze my ass. I pulled him down on top of me, my nails digging through the fabric of his shirt as he began kissing and sucking at my neck. He left a trail of kisses to my ear.
"Ohhhhh... Dai... suke... -chan..." I moaned, in rapture. I almost regretted becoming an atheist. This was a truly religious experience.
You can probably guess what happens next. For the sake of not revealing more than is necessary about my *personal* personal life, I believe I will stop there.
But I will tell you that the sex was mind-blowing. I have never in my life felt anything so nearly spiritual but so sensual at at the same time. A slow blush creeps up my cheeks, in fact, every time I think of it.
Daisuke is absolutely amazing in bed.
* * *
END PHASE 4
* * *